


Don't Touch Me (I'm Fragile)

by mychemicallyromance



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Anal Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Drug Use, Past Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-29 17:58:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 36,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6386542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mychemicallyromance/pseuds/mychemicallyromance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank had never had a normal life up until he was an adult because of his past. Around the age of twenty-three, he could safely say that he was okay—that he wasn’t in danger every day and had to do what he was told. It wasn’t his parents. Hell, he didn’t even know his parents. During his worst times of his life, all he had known was sex and drugs—no comfort, no support, and certainly no love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Frank had never had a normal life up until he was an adult because of his past. Around the age of twenty-three, he could safely say that he was okay—that he wasn’t in danger every day and had to do what he was told. It wasn’t his parents. Hell, he didn’t even know his parents. During his worst times of his life, all he had known was sex and drugs—no comfort, no support, and certainly no love. The outside world was always foreign to him. He knew what things were, he just never knew what they felt like. He never knew what love felt like, never had a swell in his chest or butterflies in his stomach, or what snow felt like on a chilly, snowy day. He never could recall when he felt the hot sun baring down on him, he couldn’t tell you what the pain of a sunburn felt like, but he could tell you about the chains and whips, and pain inflicted from Masters felt like.

Frank could tell you what forced sex felt like. He could tell you tell you all the horrors of being forced to sleep with random men for money. However, he would not because the horrors are horrible and disgusting. The feeling of no warmth or feeling the comfort when you’ve been crying for days. Hurt and pain was all he would feel. Sex didn’t bring pleasure either. It brought nightmares. It brought depression until one day he was able to escape.

That day was about three years ago and his Master was not there. Frank had no idea when Master would be back, but he knew he had to get out because the night before it was horrid. Three men had been there, Master’s friends, and they had held him down and each one took their turn. It was punishment, Frank knew that. However, he knew he didn’t deserve such things that left him beaten and bloody. The next morning Frank had escaped as soon as he knew that Master was no where to be seen, and he packed what little things he had and he had left, running as fast as he could.

He had been homeless, in and out of shelters as he was trying to find jobs. Frank had to work almost three jobs to be where he is now. The anxiety had been overcome as he grew closer to the people he worked with and he realized no one would hurt him, and he soon moved in with a coworker, Jamia. Jamia had known little about him and his past until a nightmare had left him screaming in her tiny apartment, and then the truth came spilling from his trembling lips.

Everything had been okay until he was faced with a new coworker that always had anxiety attacks when people got too close or touched him the wrong way. Frank could relate to this on so many levels, he could tell that this man had seen some dark shit in is life, but Frank didn’t think he could work up the courage to ask the guy if he wanted to be friends. Frank didn’t need friends in his life, it was dangerous to put trust in someone. But why leave a man in constant anxiety and not help? They’ve had small talk, mostly greetings and that’s it, but Frank wanted more than that.

One day, a good day, Frank had worked up the courage of going to him after noticing how distressed he had been. Frank never really had gotten a good look at the man or his name tag, but now that he had he realized how gorgeous he was and what his name is. Gerard.

“H-hi, Gerard,” Frank said to him, noticing that he was slightly startled at the sudden conversation. “H-how a-are you today?” Frank hated that he stuttered on new occasions, he was surprised he had even gotten three jobs to support himself with a stutter. It wasn’t his fault his Master left him like this, though.

“I’m fine, you?” Gerard said, trying to make eye contact with Frank but failing as soon as nerves kicked in.

“I’m o-okay,” Frank said, smiling a little bit. “A-are you on break?”

“Yes,” Gerard said with a sudden rush, sitting down in the employes room to grab his lunch with trembling hands. “Are you?”

“Um, yes,” Frank said, also grabbing his lunch and sitting down besides Gerard. “So, do you l-like working here?”

Gerard shrugged his shoulders and said, “It brings in money, I guess. I would’ve never thought life would be so hard.”

“I a-agree with you,” Frank told him. “So many bills to pay, you know? I-I just. I have three jobs, heh.”

“How do you deal with so many jobs?” Gerard asked, finally taking a bite of his food. “I get tired just from one." 

“I-I don’t know, ju-just a l-lot of coffee and-and energy drinks. The unhealthy stuff,” Frank awkwardly laughed, taking a bite of his food as well. “I don’t go to bed until almost one? I’ve grown used to it.”

Gerard shook his head, chuckled slightly and looked at Frank. “How old are you?” he asked.

“Twenty-three, what about you?” Frank asked with a smile, noticing that his stutter went away when he got comfortable with Gerard.

“Twenty-seven. I’m old,” Gerard laughed, loosening up around Frank.

Frank noticed how beautiful Gerard truly was but that left him wondering what kind of past he had that left him in such an awkward mess of a man. No one knew who Frank was or his past. They only knew him was the man who worked every day with good attendance at a local grocery store, helping customers pack their stuff into plastic bags. No one knew that Frank had been a part of a local sex trafficking ring, even when it was busted and people were arrested. No one mentioned his name.

“So, tell me about yourself,” Frank said, taking small bites of his sandwich Jamia made him.

“Uh...I hate these questions. I always get stuck because I draw a blank. If you told me to tell you about art, I could. As soon as someone asks me about myself, I forget who I am,” Gerard told him, smiling a little bit and his cheeks turned a slight.

“You like art?” Frank asked.

“I love art. I know I’m late in the game but I’m trying to go to college,” Gerard said with an enthusiastic smile on his face.

“Oh, it’s never too late to do something you love,” Frank told him. “Maybe you’ll be the next Gogh.”

 

The rest of his work day they had traded shy looks and quick glances at each other. Their shy smiles making their cheeks rosy and wide with a smile as they would just look at each other until the job was finished. Frank walked up to Gerard before he took off to his car like he normally did.

“Hey, you wanna go...uh, o-on a date with me?” Frank asked, his nerves making him want to cave in on himself. “Maybe we can go for dinner or a coffee, or something?”

“Of course. Just let me know when,” Gerard told him, writing his number down onto a piece of paper.

  


  


  
  



	2. Are You Happy (Now That You're Free)?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, look another update

Frank woke up, nerves setting in his stomach as he realized that today was the day he and Gerard were going to be on a date. They hadn’t really said where they were going for dinner, but he had hoped Gerard came up with something. Frank was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard his phone ringing, he looked and picked it up, noticing it was Gerard.

“Hi, Frank,” Gerard said, and Frank could see the smile on Gerard’s face when he had said his name. Gerard seemed to be in a good mood.

“Hi, h-how are you?” Frank asked. Frank hated phone calls, it always made him nervous for some reason—speaking in general was hard, but phone calls were harder. You can’t see the other person when you call them or know how they’re feeling with what you talked about, that’s why he hated texting too.

“I’m good. I just wanted to see if we were still on,” Gerard asked. “If so, I have an idea for us. How about an arcade? I know it seems—”

“It sounds perfect,” Frank told him honestly.

“Good, good,” Gerard said confidently. “It’s also a restaurant so we can get dinner there, too.”

“Awesome! What time?” Frank asked.

“Uhh...four o’clock? Sound good?” Frank looked at the time, noticing it was 1:30p.m. and he had only a few hours before four, but that was okay.

“Yeah, sure! Do...do you want me to pick you up or—”

“I can pick you up. Send me your address?” Gerard suggested.

“Yeah, I’ll text it to you right now—is that okay?” Frank asked, making sure it was okay that he sent it that way rather than telling him on the phone. Frank also didn’t trust technology, he always thought there was a third person listening to him—maybe it was Master, or Master’s friends. Frank was always paranoid. Frank hung up, immediately texting Gerard the address, and walking out of the bedroom to the kitchen.

“You’re awake, _finally_ ,” Jamia joked as she was cooking, whatever it was smelled amazing. “You want some?”

“What is it?” Frank asked.

“An omelet, ever had one?” she asked. Jamia knew the horrors of his past and how he would hardly be able to eat anything, but when he did eat it was left overs that winded up in the trash. The food that he now liked, it was from his discovery and from Jamia.

“No, what are they?” Frank asked, sitting down at the table.

“Just an egg with stuff inside, like veggies and stuff,” she told him, getting the omelet off the pan to give to him. “Want juice or milk? We need to go shopping, ugh.”

“Juice is fine,” Frank said nervously as he had the food in front of him. Frank still had troubles to eat without being told to—it was just in graved into his brain that he had to be told what to do, that’s why he found comfort in his job.

After escaping, the world became foreign to him and he wasn’t used to not being told what to do or what was wrong, or doing his own thing. He had no concept on what money was, or anything any simple human would know until Jamia had taken him in to help him with all of this. Jamia didn’t lose her patience with anything that he didn’t know how to do—she helped him through everything without questioning him. Frank could honestly say she was his best friend. Now that Jamia had known what his past was, she hadn’t dared spilling a word, and she kept her questions of his past to herself—waiting for him to spill if he ever needed to.

Frank took a deep breath, his nerves getting to him again. “I-I’m going somewhere today. Is that...that okay?” he asked her.

“Of course,” she said, winking at him. “Where ya goin’?”

“Gerard and I—” Frank tried telling her but she cut him off.

“Gerard from work? The guy who is all nerves and panic attacks?” she questioned, Frank nodded. “Be careful, Frankie. That guy has seen some awful shit, and I know you have too, but he went through something that...that left him this way.”

“W-what did he go through?” Frank asked.

“You know I can’t say. You wouldn’t like it if I told someone your story,” Jamia told him. “He told me in confidence what had happened, sorry.”

“No, you’re right,” Frank said, shaking his head and smiling. “I wouldn’t like it, you’re right. Gerard and I are going to an arcade, I guess.”

“Sounds fun,” Jamia told him, smiling back at him. Frank had never taken interest in dating or anything like that before, it wasn’t because Frank was unattractive, but she never had Frank smile over a _guy_. When Jamia had first met Frank, she knew there was something wrong with the poor guy, but she never asked. Frank and Jamia had gotten closer, becoming great friends, and soon enough she had found out he was homeless so she offered her spare room to Frank. It took awhile before Frank became comfortable with her, doing his own thing. Some days—even now—he would think he had to ask before doing something, even using the bathroom.

“Y-yeah, I guess, but I’ve never been to an arcade,” Frank told her, pushing the remaining things of his breakfast out of the way. “I’ve seen them in movies, but...He never took me to one.” Frank sighed, remember Master. Master wasn’t always a bad guy if Frank was good that day or if Master was in a good mood, which was rare.

Master had taken Frank in since he was young, raising him and building him into a sex toy. Frank remember the first time he had lost his virginity—he was around fifteen at the time. Frank had just hit puberty and he knew his body was adventuring into something that Frank had no concept of. Master never taught sex-education. Frank remembered the first time Master had touched him—“teaching” him what pleasure, what your body did, and soon enough Master had kissed him—his first kiss—and had sex with him. Frank didn’t understand, he remembered crying and begging him to stop, but he never did. After that, nothing was ever the same, and it had only gotten worse.

“Frank, are you okay?” Jamia asked, noticing he was looking a little distant.

“Yeah, I should probably start getting ready for this date, shouldn’t I?” Frank asked, forcing a chuckle as he put the plate in the sink.

“Yes,” Jamia said, going to go do the dishes. “I won’t be here until...maybe seven? So I’ll leave the door unlocked, okay?”

“Yes, that is fine,” Frank said to her before going to go hop in the shower.

Frank had thought about all the good things Master had done for him. Master had kissed him one day, not wanting to do anything sexual besides relax besides him, and he hadn’t even touched Frank. Frank could count on one hand how many times Master was nice to him. However, Master was a cruel person despite being nice on very rare occasions. Master would often invite his friends over, have their way with Frank—Master let them abuse him in so many ways. Frank remembered the morning he left and what had happened.

Frank had been in the cage down in the basement, waiting for his fate until Master had came down, dragging Frank out. Frank looked up at Master with big eyes, wondering what he had done now that caused Master to be cruel this time. Master had began to tsk, looking Frank up and down at his bruised and broken body.

“ _Master?” Frank had said, trying to know what he was doing. “Master, what is it?”_

The next few words had broken Frank’s heart. _“I’m going to kill you,” Master told him, his voice monotone as he said those five words. “You’re too old to play with. Who would want you?”_

“ _Master—”_ Frank knew better than to object, but he couldn’t help it. Frank always knew that in some sick way, he adored Master—he grew up with someone who had taken care of him...but there had been bad shit that would’ve made Frank hate him.

“ _Master, I am sorry—what can I do to make you change your mind? Please, Master, don’t kill me,” Frank said, earning a sharp slap across the face._

“ _Nothing can change my mind, Frank,” Master said, rubbing Frank’s cheek where he had hit it._ _“_ _You’re too old for me. I already have a new person coming in, taking your place.”_

Later that day, Frank had been left alone while Master went to go get the next person, and he knew that if didn’t leave soon, he would be killed. Frank stole a shirt and pants from Master, collecting his stuff and running far away from that place. Somehow, Frank managed to run into the woods where there were campers, noticing Frank.

“ _Hey, man, are you okay?” one of the campers said. “Do you need help?”_

Frank nodded his head, his breathing ragged and he was thirsty, hungry, and he just wanted comfort. Frank had collapsed to his knees, everything just hurt from running. Whatever the other campers were cooking, smelled good. He wished he could have something—even if it’s scraps.

“ _Do you want a drink of water?” the camper asked, handing Frank a bottle, and Frank drank it all—worried that the camper was going to take it away. “I’m going to call 9-1-1, okay? You stay here.”_

Frank must’ve passed out because the next thing he knew, he was in the hospital, the bright lights almost too bright, the itchy, thick blankets wrapped around him. Frank snuggled even further into the blankets and hugging the pillow as a doctor walked in to talk to him.

“ _Hello, I am Dr. Marshall. How are you, Frank?” Dr. Marshall asked, looking at his clipboard._

“ _I-I’m o-okay,” Frank said, starting to shake as he was well-aware of this stranger._

“ _I will let you rest before we start asking you questions, is that okay? Before I go, I must tell you that you had a minor concussion but we will give you medication for that. We know what happened, Frank—we had done a rape kit, and there had been present fluids which—if you wish to peruse a case—will help us build and get your attacker,” Marshall ranted on. “Is there anything I can get you before I leave? Blankets, food, anything?”_

“ _N-no, thank you,” Frank said, watched as the doctor had left him, now cold despite the blankets._

The cold water snapped Frank out of his reminiscence and he hurried out, getting dressed, and out of the bathroom. Frank noticed how long he had been in the bathroom, and he looked at the time, noticing it was close to four. Frank had gone back to his room to check the time, realizing that Gerard had texted back.

 _On my way :-)_ , Gerard texted.

XXX

Frank had anxiously gotten into Gerard’s car, trying to quietly shut the door as loud bangs or sudden noises startled him easily. Frank looked at Gerard and smiled, he sighed as he tried not being so anxious.

“How are you?” Gerard asked, noticing Frank was anxious. Gerard could honestly relate so well to Frank right now—he hadn’t been on a date since he was twenty, but that ‘date’ ended up tragically, and he hadn’t done it since.

Frank nodded. “I’m okay,” he said. “W-what about you?”

“Me too,” Gerard said. “Would you like to listen to music?”

Frank shook his head. “I’m okay,” he said, looking at Gerard, his bright, hazel eyes making Frank mesmerized. Honestly, it wasn’t because Frank didn’t like music, he just didn’t know what was out there—another simple pleasure that had been torn from him.

Frank had dazed out again as he kept thinking and worrying, and he had hoped Gerard hadn’t noticed. When they had pulled up, Frank’s eyes snapped to the arcade building, noticing how big it was. “Have you ever been here, Frank?” Gerard asked, trying to catch Frank’s attention.

“No,” Frank said, opening his door and getting out—automatically noticing it was raining. Frank hadn’t realized it was raining, but rain was his favorite thing to watch. When Master would let him roam the house, he would look out the window as it rained and loved the pitter-patter noises as the rain fell from the sky. It calmed him.

“Well, let’s go,” Gerard said. “Would you like my jacket?”

“No, I’m okay,” Frank said. “Thank you anyway.”

They had walked into the arcade, the noise automatically making him cringe with kids and teens bellowing as they played with their friends, and the music was almost too loud. Frank tried to regain his composure to not ruin the date but Gerard had looked at him with a questioning glance. Frank shook his head and smiled, leading him to the table that they would sit at. The chairs were a struggle to get on considering Frank was so short.

“Would you like to grab a bite to eat first or play games?” Gerard asked, looking at Frank’s eyes and how bright they were as he looked around. “Either is fine for me,” Gerard added on.

“Whatever you wanna do,” Frank said awkwardly.

“Let’s play games, then,” Gerard said, going to go grab their tickets.

  


After a few hours of playing almost all of the games, Frank felt his stomach growl and he hoped Gerard was getting hungry too, but he hadn’t dared to ask. Luckily for him, Gerard had led him over back to their table, grabbing the menu for Frank and then himself.

“Order whatever you want,” Gerard said, knowing their meals were rather expensive.

“Are you sure?” Frank asked, eying the prices. “I-I can pay for my meal.”

“No, no—it’s okay, Frank,” Gerard said with such honesty it almost startled Frank.

A small woman came up to them and introduced herself. “Hello, I am Lizzie, I will be your waitress tonight. What can I get ya both?” she said.

“You can go first, Frank,” Gerard said.

“Um, I’ll have a water and...uh, salad? That’s all,” Frank said, putting his menu down.

Frank had seen the sad smile displayed on Gerard’s lips from Frank’s order. “I’ll have a lemonade and nachos, please,” Gerard ordered, handing both menus to Lizzie.

After Lizzie left, Gerard said, “Are you sure that’s all you wanted?”

“Yes,” Frank said.

XXX

“So, tell me something about you, Frank,” Gerard asked, slowly sipping on his lemonade. “It’s your turn to say.”

Frank sighed, laughing nervously as he tried to think of something. “I have never been to an arcade until today,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “I have also never been on a date, either.”

“Really?” Gerard said, astounded to find that out.

“Yes,” Frank said. “I live with Jamia from work...we’ve been living together for awhile now.”

“She’s pretty cool,” Gerard said.

“She’s my best friend, or at least I think so?” Frank said, not really knowing if Jamia was just a roommate or his best friend, too. Frank flapped his hand and said, “Now it’s your turn.”

“Hmm, I love zombie movies,” Gerard said. “I suck at video games. I do not have good eye-hand coordination, but I’m really good at art.”

“What’s your favorite thing to draw?” Frank asked, “I know there’s different forms of art.”

“Hm, it honestly depends on my mood,” Gerard told him.

“Do you like Gogh?” Frank asked, trying to think of more artists.

“It’s not Gogh—it’s Vincent Van Gogh,” Gerard snickered.

Frank threw a crumb at him and laughed. “I messed up the name the first time! You jerk, ya could’ve told me instead I embarrassed myself,” he said, still cracking up. Frank had realized this was the first time in a long time that he had this much time, laughing until he couldn’t make any noises and it was just him silently laughing.

“It’s funny,” Gerard said, “and cute.”

Before Frank could respond, Lizzie had came back to give them their check and before Frank could see the price, Gerard took it away and handed her his card. “Gerard…I could’ve helped,” Frank said.

“No—I’m good, it’s okay,” Gerard said. “It’s getting pretty late, wanna head home?”

Frank looked outside the windows and noted that it was already dark. “Yeah, I have work in a few hours,” Frank said. “Thank you for this.”

“It’s no problem, Frank,” Gerard said, grabbing his card and they walked out together.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments?  
> twitter: mychemicallyrom


	3. Eyes Like Hazel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, I am so sorry that it has been so long since I have updated this and wrote a one-shot. I just rarely have time or inspiration anymore because I'm always busy or tired. Being a senior, graduating this week, it's taking a toll on me. Plus I am stressed like hell. I have also had gotten my wisdom teeth out two weeks ago and glasses which I love because my glasses are super cute, and no more teeth pain!  
> Anyway, I hope you like this chapter <3  
> P.S I am seeing Melanie Martinez in July along with going to the APMAS :p  
> who else is going??

Frank sat in the chair, looking at Dr. Vaun, his therapist. Dr. Vaun and Frank had been talking for three years, making Frank learn to get over his past that was still a struggle. Although, Frank and Dr. Vaun had became close, he knew that he could trust her with anything he told her, and she never abused her power. Dr. Vaun had her notes out, ready to write down anything Frank told her—to see if he had gotten better or worse.

Frank smiled, folding his hands together and sighing. “I have another date tonight, Dr.,” Frank said. “I, uh, I met this guy at work, his name is Gerard. We went out last weekend to an arcade.”

“That’s awesome, Frank,” Dr. Vaun said, clapping for Frank to show her enthusiasm. “I’m proud that you’re getting out of your shell. It was a tough nut to crack.” She winked at him and laughed. “Now, I do hope you are getting better with talking, yes?”

“Yes,” Frank said, nodding. “When is it too early to tell someone of my past? I hear that Gerard had also went through something horrible but I don’t want to trigger him or anything, you know?”

“In my nonprofessional opinion, I believe if the relationship goes further because telling him too soon might make him and you feel vulnerable,” Vaun told him. “When you feel time, then you can.”

“I really like Gerard,” Frank whispered—he had never felt this feeling, not even on Master’s good days. It was like a high, a warm bubbly feeling in his stomach.

“I can tell,” she said with a wink. “Tell me about Gerard, Frank.”

XXX

Later that day Gerard and Frank had gone out to get coffee, just wanting to see each other and be near. “How are you?” Gerard asked, slowly sipping his coffee.

Frank swallowed the sip of coffee and said, “I’m okay, you?” Frank wrapped his cold hands around the warm coffee cup. “I’m tired, but I’m okay.”

Gerard smiled. “Me too,” he said, taking a rather large sip of coffee. “So what have you been doing besides working?” Gerard tried making conversation. Frank knew that Gerard could tell that he wasn’t all the way okay. Sometimes, his therapy appointments left him feeling vulnerable even though he was comfortable.

“Just being lazy, to be honest,” Frank mumbled, taking a sip of his coffee. “I’m so glad it’s warming up. I hate cold, to be honest.”

“Me too. I prefer fall or summer...maybe spring,” Gerard said with a sigh of content.

“My birthday is in the fall,” Frank said. Really, he didn’t celebrate his birthday when he was with Master, it wasn’t a normal thing to do...Master didn’t believe in holidays or birthdays. It made him sad. However, he would celebrate his own birthday in his own time. It was always simple pleasures Master had let him do.

“Oh, cool! When is it?” Gerard asked, smiling.

“Halloween,” Frank mumbled almost so low Gerard hadn’t caught it.

“The thirty first?” Gerard said, sounding like he was super excited for Frank.

“Yes,” Frank said, feeling almost embarrassed. “I don’t celebrate it—never have.”

“You don’t go out for candy?” Gerard asked.

“No,” Frank half-smiled. Frank was getting too deeper in thought because his anxiety was a mess and he was too nervous to tell anyone this. He really wasn’t allowed to do anything with his birthday, and that was still ground into his mind that he should be ashamed and not greedy with anything. That he shouldn’t ask.

“We are totally going out that night,” Gerard told him. “I think I found my new favorite holiday.”

“Ah, you don’t have to,” Frank told him. It was making him uncomfortable that Gerard was all up on his birthday, but it also makes him feel special. He would never get too used to the feeling of being wanted, that special feeling he had never felt unless it was with Gerard. He had never felt this feeling, ever. “I-It’s just, no one ever thought of me like...that, you know? I just—” Frank sighed. “I have never been out for my birthday. Ever.”

“Do you...wanna talk about it?” Gerard asked, automatically noticing Frank’s distress.

“No, no I’m fine, thank you, though,” Frank said, smiling for Gerard to know there was no harm. “So what else do you wanna do before we have to work?”

“I’m not working today,” Gerard giggled. “But, where do you wanna go?”

“I have no idea,” Frank said. “It’s twelve p.m. so...I am appreciating the warm coffee. I’m down for whatever until 7.”

“Hmm, how about a comic store?” Gerard asked.

“Sure. I like comics,” Frank said. It was some of the simple pleasures Frank had for himself.

“And maybe later—before work—I can take you out on a dinner?”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” Frank blushed, the churning feeling in his stomach coming full force. The feeling of being wanted, he craved it. He needed it like he needed to breath. He had been numb for so long that he forgot what it felt like when his heart would speed up—not from being scared but from this special feeling. It was so new to him.

“It’s okay. I want to,” Gerard told him, smiling his tiny-toothed smile that Frank reciprocated.

“If you’re sure,” Frank said, his face was red as a tomato, he could tell.

XXX

“No! That comic is not a good one. What are you doin’?” Frank said, catching Gerard read a really shitty comic that had poor dialog and horrible everything, basically. “Ughhhh, I thought you were an expert at this! I am very disappointed in you.”

“Oh no, what shall I ever do?” Gerard crackled. “Poor Frank, you’re breakin’ my heart.” Gerard clutched his chest and rolled his eyes.

Frank smiled at Gerard’s sarcasm and jokes. “I will _never_ forgive you,” Frank jokingly said, rolling his eyes and walked to another aisle of the comic store. From the other side, he had heard Gerard just cracking up and went after Frank, wanting nothing but his attention. It was another reason he had felt the butterflies in his stomach.

“Oh, Frank, don’t do this,” Gerard sniffled, closed his eyes to pretend he was crying. “It’s breaking! So many shards of my heart...shattering!”

“Nooo! You can’t die of heart break. I need you and all your jokes, and food,” Frank said, smiling brightly without hiding his face like he always did.

“You use me for my food?!” Gerard gasped dramatically, shaking his head. “I always knew it. Jamia never fed you. You poor baby.”

Frank rubbed his stomach. “She starves me,” he told Gerard.

“How about I stuff you with a good dinner so you don’t starve until next?” Gerard said, checking his watch and saw that it was around four-thirty.

“Okay, but it better be good,” Frank winked.

“Taco Bell?” Gerard said.

“No! That place is disgusting,” Frank made a face at it.

“Just joking, I know this amazing Indian place—I know that you’ll like it,” Gerard said to him, walking out to the car with Frank.

XXX

“So, what kind of music do you listen to?” Gerard asked him, smiling as they had ordered and started waiting for their food.

“Hmm, I don’t really know,” Frank lied so Gerard wouldn’t try digging into his past. He really didn’t want to ruin the dinner with his depressing thoughts. “I don’t listen to music unless it’s what’s on the radio or what Jamia listens to. There’s this band that I had heard because of her, Smashing Pumpkins is good.”

“Ooooh, dude, they’re my favorite! Except David Bowie. He’s good too!” Gerard said, getting excited by what Frank had said.

“I don’t think I have heard him,” Frank admitted.

“You should swing by my house sometime and I will show you all the best music,” Gerard gushed. “You fixed my broken heart, Frank.”

Frank rolled his eyes. “You’re a dork.”

“How insulting,” Gerard said with sarcasm. “I am not a dork, thank you very much! I am a starving artist that works with a cute as hell co-worker in some shitty coffee shop.”

“Who’s the cutie? Tell him to hit me up,” Frank teased, he knew Gerard was talking about him but he just liked to tease Gerard with anything. He had never felt his comfortable with anyone besides Jamia.

Gerard shook his head. “Nope,” he said, popping the ‘p’. “Just go look in the nearest mirror, then you’ll see him.”

Before Frank could respond, their appetizers came out. Frank had no idea what it was but it was some soup with veggies, he smiled because Gerard remembered his vegetarianism. “It’s veggie...pakora? I think. Honestly, I have no idea. I just like their food,” Gerard told him, already serving them both.

“What if it’s poison?” Frank said, poking fun at Indian food. He had never tried Indian food because he had never had the money for fancy restaurants.

“If it’s poison, I would’ve been dead long time ago,” Gerard told him, taking a huge bite of his food.

As they were eating, they had kept making funny jokes or teasing each other. In one serious moment, Gerard said, “Tell me a secret no one knows about?”

Frank didn’t want to go too deep into thought or else it would ruin his moment—probably making him cry. As he was thinking he made a humming noise that Gerard awed at for some weird reason. “Let’s see.” Frank kept thinking and said, “I never had a boyfriend before.”

“What? Really?” Gerard said, flabbergasted. “Dude, I would’ve never guessed. You are attractive. Someone would’ve picked you up instead of me, a giant nerd who loves food too much.”

“Okay, it’s your turn,” Frank said, trying not to smile and blush at the compliments.

“Okay—um, you can’t laugh. I had never told anyone this—even past relationships or even friendships. So, around third or fourth grade, I had dressed up as Peter Pan. It was basically green tights and stuff that my grandma had made. It was super tight. It was a musical,” Gerard said, this time it was his time to blush and looked embarrassed.

“Oh my god, I need proof!” Frank exclaimed, almost choking on his soup with laughter.

“Maybe some other day, bud,” Gerard winked.

They continued eating after their dinner was there. The waiter had asked if they wanted dessert but they both shook their head. Frank said, “I am stuffed. I probably just gained thirty pounds.”

Gerard paid and then looked at his watch, he noticed it was five-thirty. “C’mon, Cinderella, gotta get you home,” Gerard said, getting out of the booth.

“I _can’t_ ,” Frank whined as he clutched his stomach. “I’m dead. RIP Frank Iero.”

“C’mon, princess, you gotta go to work,” Gerard said, reaching out to help Frank up—even though he knew Frank could do it.

“Such a gentleman,” Frank said, grabbing Gerard’s hand. There was something that had sent sparks throughout Frank’s entire body, but he didn’t need to voice it.

“Let’s get inside the pumpkin,” Gerard said once they were outside, opening the passenger side door for Frank to climb inside of.

“I don’t wanna go,” Frank whined. “I will cry if I have to go. Don’t make me!”

“Too bad, kiddo, gotta make that cash,” Gerard teased the entire way there to Frank’s house. “Do you want me drive you?” he asked before Frank walked inside to change to his work uniform.

“You really don’t have to, I can carpool with Jamia,” Frank shyly said.

“No, it’s okay—c’mon, I’ll take you,” Gerard said, then let him go inside the house to change.

It took a few minutes before Frank had walked right back outside, getting inside the car. They smiled at each other and drove off. Gerard wanted nothing more than to have Frank stay over—maybe even stay the night, if he was comfortable with that—but he knew that Frank had to go to work. Maybe on their day off. Or once Frank got off work.

“Hey! I got a quick question,” Gerard said, catching Frank’s attention. “So, I know it’s a long shot but I had such a great time with you that I was wondering if you wanted to come over after work. I know that’s pretty late, but maybe we can, like, watch movies or you just stay the night?”

Frank bit his lip as he thought deeply about this, he didn’t even have a change of clothes, and it had been so long since he had felt comfortable with anyone else besides Jamia. It kind of made him think too much considering Gerard was a male, but he didn’t want to disappoint Gerard with the truth—that he was scared and nervous more than anything.

“Are you sure it won’t be too late? Do you not have work in the morning?” Frank asked.

“Nah, I don’t have work until later,” Gerard said, really hoping Frank would say yes.

“I don’t have a change of clothes,” Frank said.

“I have some, if you don’t mind wearing those,” Gerard said.

“Okay,” Frank said, surprising himself more than anything but he just felt so comfortable with Gerard. It was a weird feeling put some trust in another male since it had been so long, but the more he thought about it the more he worried and it made him anxious. He didn’t get off until around twelve. Hopefully, Gerard would still want to pick him up then.

Frank waved goodbye as Gerard drove away, it made him feel sad because he wasn’t around someone that ever made him feel that way. It made him feel like he could trust Gerard. It made him feel warm and wanted, and bubbly. He never, ever felt that way, and he knows that. Whatever had changed his mind on being alone or building his walls up for so long, it was unknown. He had been so reserved, even after Jamia found out about his past. She knew the gist of it all, but not the full blown truth. He wouldn’t know if he could tell Gerard that because it was a personal time in his life.

Frank sighed, walking into the coffee shop to clock in at the shitty place.

XXX

“Sooo, I seen you talking to Gerard,” Jamia said as soon as he clocked in. “What did you guys do? You were gone all day.”

“I’m sorry,” Frank said, feeling bad that he had been out all day.

“Shh, you’re fine—just spill the details!” Jamia said, all excited for Frank.

“Well, we went to a coffee shop after my appointment, and then we went to a comic store—” Before Frank could continue, he started blushing and Jamia noticed automatically, and awed him. “Sh, then we went to dinner at some Indian place.”

“Aw you guys went on a date?” Jamia cooed like Frank had an elementary crush. “He is so into you, Frank. I can already tell!”

“No he’s not,” Frank continued blushing, trying to hide the fact that he knew Gerard sorta liked him. He just didn’t want to give Jamia the satisfaction. “You need to find someone so _I_ can tease you about it.”

“I’m a loner, Frank,” Jamia sighed drastically. “Your love-life is interesting.”

“No it’s not! I bet he doesn’t like me like that,” Frank worried, he started worrying actually about the fact that Gerard would only like him as a friend for some odd reason. Jamia raised her eyebrow as she noticed Frank was scaring himself. “He, uh, asked me to come over after work to stay the night.”

“Are you okay with that?” Jamia asked, sitting down since there weren’t that many customers that night. “If you’re not, you need to tell him.”

“Actually, I think I am,” Frank said with a smile as he was dragged out of his thoughts.

“I worry, Frank, so if you do not feel comfortable with anything—call me, okay?” Jamia said.

“What do you mean?” Frank asked, now worried that something will happen to him

Jamia sighed. “It’s nothing bad—I know Gerard won’t hurt you. It’s just...somethings he had gone through makes him have severe panic attacks or he slips up and drinks. I know alcohol makes you uncomfortable.”

“I’ll be okay, Jamia. I promise,” Frank said.

XXX

Twelve actually came a lot faster than Frank had realized, he had seen Gerard walk through the coffee shop’s doors with a bright smile on his face. Gerard had noticed Jamia and said, “Hey!” then he turned to Frank. “You ready? If you’re not sure, it’s okay if you don’t want to come.”

“I’m fine, just let me check out,”Frank said as he continued to check out of work.

After Frank was done, he and Gerard walked to the car to head to Gerard’s house. “How was work?” Gerard had finally asked when they arrived to his house.

“It was pretty slow like always, but it was okay. Jamia kept me company, so I was alright as she mostly ran the fort,” Frank said, smiling again as Gerard had gotten out to open Frank’s door.

They went inside after Gerard unlocked his door. “Sorry if it’s a little messy. I’m lazy as hell when I’m home,” he apologized.

“It’s okay. I am, too,” Frank sent him a smile as he sat down on the couch.

“Do you want anything to drink?” Gerard asked as he walked into the kitchen. “I have juice, pop, and water.”

“Uh, whatever is fine,” Frank said sheepishly.

Frank saw Gerard peak his out from his kitchen and said, “Pick it.”

“Fine, pop is fine,” Frank said, giggling like a school girl when Gerard handed it to him. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” Gerard said, handing Frank the box of DVDs to choose from.

“Too many choices!” Frank said. “Hmm, this Zombie movie.”

“You’re lucky it’s my favorite,” Gerard said, putting the movie in.

During the movie, Frank felt his heart flutter again as he sipped on his drink—even when the zombies were being shot or sliced open. It made everything better. It made him forget what had broken him so many years ago. Gerard made him feel normal, something that didn’t happen normally. He could tell that Jamia tried, but after she knew it was never the same. They treated him like a victim even though he was. He had never had a normal life until he escaped. He just wanted people to not treat him like a fragile piece of glass that they would worry if they didn’t tip-toe around like Jamia does. She avoids asking about his past and walks around words.

Gerard is not afraid to ask simple questions even if it takes Frank into depressing thoughts because Gerard will drag him back out with something else that would make Frank feel special. He never wanted this moment to fall. Ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me!!   
> @mychemicallyrom


	4. You Make Moments Last Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really hope you guys like these updates. please let me know!

Frank woke up with a startle, the place wasn’t familiar to him, and he had a cold sweat on his body. Nothing looked familiar to him. It was super quiet. Where was he? He tried getting up on shaky legs that were threatening for him to collapse, and he bit his nails to keep him from being too loud with his breathing. Frank quietly sighed and walked into a bedroom, showing that there was another man. Then it all hit him, he was at Gerard’s. Gerard slept in a separate place. Frank appreciated that a hell of a lot. Once his heart was finished beating miles a second, he went back to the couch to fall back asleep to no avail. His worried and anxious thoughts got to him when he was alone, no one to distract him from the thoughts that crowded his mind.

However, ever since he had met Gerard, he would think of him when things got too bad. Even thinking of Gerard, it made him blush and get out of those dangerous thoughts. He felt silly, stupid even, but he couldn’t help it. Whatever this feeling was, it felt like a drug, and he didn’t want that feeling to go away. It’s a high feeling, and he had to get more of Gerard before the shakes and tears settled in. He had no idea why he would end up feeling depressed without the company of Gerard...he just did. Maybe it was because he was the first person not having to tip-toe around him. Maybe it was because he didn’t know of Frank’s past and thought he was normal—like everyone else. Like Frank wasn’t beaten and broken, and not a wacko who still had tons of problems to work through before he could even accept what had happened to him. He understood what had happened, he knew that part, but what he had to get through is not seeing himself as a victim, but a survivor. He didn’t want pity. He was still fragile and depressed, and bitter but when he started seeing Vaun, he lost some of that bitterness.

Frank remembered the first time that he had seen Vaun. He was so mad at himself and Master, and the whole world, basically. He was mad. He was hurt. He had to build himself back up, making sure to never trust anyone ever again, and he needed hostility and meanness. But that never got him anywhere. It only made him lonely… It also made him even angrier about the world. It made him say a great big “fuck you” to everything.

After meeting Jamia, he could tell that she had suspected something horrible happened to him even though he never told her. Once they became close, Jamia welcomed Frank into her home to stay until he was ready to be on his own. Frank could tell it was a struggle—a burden—for another person to be with her in her once apartment that she rarely had anyone over. He rarely asked her for anything… Still, to this day, he still has struggles, every once in awhile, to ask for things. It was understandable, though. When Jamia had been told what happened to Frank, her views on Frank changed drastically. She pitied him. She tip-toed around him so he wouldn’t have a breakdown. Which had happened before.

Frank remembered that day so clearly...he had been working, it was his first time working at the shitty coffee shop. He had been bored until one of the other whores walked in. He knew exactly who it was. They had locked eyes with each other. The whore ran out of the store, and Frank felt his body go cold. All of this was before Master was actually locked up. Master was on trial after they busted the local sex ring, and he knew some of the whores had escaped from the press, just like Frank. No one was looking for him. No one cared. That day he felt like the world just crashed around him, the strain in his chest, the tears welling up in his eyes. It felt like his breath was knocked out of him. He could hear the ringing in his ears, words from his co-workers sounded so far away…

It was then when he had woken up in a hospital.

XXX

“Oh, hey! Good morning,” Gerard said, yawning slightly when he noticed Frank was awake. “How long have you been awake?”

Frank snapped out of his thoughts. “Oh, um...maybe an hour?” he said, looking at the clock on the wall. It was only 8:30.

“Wow, you wake up early, don’t you?” Gerard asked, walking into the kitchen to get a drink. “I’m gonna shower, so help yourself to anything in the cabinets.”

At that, Gerard walked away from Frank, leaving him alone...in his own deep thoughts.

XXX

  


Gerard had proposed a plan before they both had to work, having their uniforms washed together and clothes Frank had washed to only wear more of Gerard’s clothes. They smelled like him but he knew they were clean as Gerard had dragged them out of the dryer. It was a weird, girly smell, but Frank enjoyed it when it had came from Gerard, and it made him feel happy. He never wanted to leave Gerard’s side, he wanted to feel Gerard, to hold his hand. He wanted an innocent relationship. No expectations of sex or sexual contact. He was _definitely_ not ready for that intimacy.

Frank sighed contently as they walked to their favorite coffee shop, occasionally smiling at each other. The fluttering return at each smile—Frank could’ve laughed, giggled, if he didn’t hold it back. When they had gotten to the coffee shop, Gerard had insisted that he would pay for Frank’s coffee, but Frank couldn’t help but feel a little greedy. Where did Gerard get all of this money?--Expensive dinners, coffee, and all the dates they had been on couldn’t be exactly _cheap_. Frank always offered to help but he declined the offer...Frank wasn’t a girl, he knew that Gerard wasn’t the “one to wear the pants”. Frank sighed, letting his thoughts go away when he saw Gerard holding the expensive coffees. They were expensive. A small was almost seven dollars.

“Thank you, Gerard,” Frank said, accepting the warm coffee in his cold hands. His hands always warmed up when Gerard touched him or got him his favorite coffee. “I have a question, though. I hope that’s okay.”

“Of course, Frank,” Gerard said, smiling. “Go ahead.”

“I know it’s none of my business but I can’t help but wonder, how are you paying for these expensive...dates? I know it can’t be exactly cheap. I’ve offered to help out but you deny it,” Frank rushed each word out, feeling shame and embarrassment eating him away. “I’m sorry,” he added.

“No, you’re fine,” Gerard said, patting Frank’s hand to comfort him. “I had an inheritance when my grandma past away, my brother and I were in her will.”

“I’m sorry for your loss, Gerard,” Frank apologized, for feeling bad for even asking. “I’m also sorry for asking.”

“No, no you’re fine, Frank,” Gerard told him. “It’s okay to ask me questions.”

“Okay.” Frank nodded, relief that Gerard wasn’t going to push him away. He still had no idea if he was being rude or not as to ask the simple questions that flow through his mouth. Stuttering and mumbling, and rushing his sentences out were always a habit, too.

“You’re okay,” Gerard reassured him, patting his hand again but it lingered longer than before. “Don’t be afraid to ask _anything_.”

“I am afraid to be rude,” he said, it wasn’t exactly a lie, he was terrified because lying got him punished when he was with Master. Frank mentally slapped himself to think of Master when he was with Gerard but he couldn’t help it.

“When you’re with me, all questions won’t be rude—even if they are to society,” Gerard asked. “Hell, I might even ask a rude question once or twice. If I do, tell me if that steps over a boundary. I want you to trust me.”

 _Hell, I already do,_ Frank thought as soon as he heard those words. He didn’t know exactly why he felt so safe and trusted Gerard if he had only known him for a short while, but he just did. When Master raised him, he hadn’t touched him or hurt him until Frank’s body started doing things that were natural. He was hitting puberty. That was when punishments and rape, and molestation started. But it was a different kind of trust with Master than Gerard’s, if he was honest. With Master, it was a parental—a caregiver trust. Gerard was a friend, a crush, even...Frank had seen romantic movies with Jamia, and there weren’t many gay characters, but there were girls crushing on guys—a football play and she was some loner or nerd kind of girl that obsessed with the football player—or jock, as Jamia said—and in the end of the movie they end up together.

Frank wasn’t a girl or some sixteen-year-old who was played as a twenty-something actress. They looked too old to be sixteen, Frank knew that. He also knew those movies were cheesy as hell and those love stories were fake, that they were never going to happen because of his trust issues with anyone but Jamia, but then Gerard came along. Gerard was slowly knocking down those thick walls that Frank had built for so long. But he was okay.

“You okay?” Gerard asked, smiling a little bit but Frank could tell that he was worried a little bit. “You seem like in a daze.”

“Oh! I’m sorry, I was,” Frank said, slightly embarrassed. Frank could tell a blush was on his face, making him redder than a tomato.

“You’re okay. Wanna talk about it?” Gerard asked.

“It’s a long story,” Frank said, hoping the coversation would be dropped on this good day.

“Okay.” Gerard dropped it but he didn’t seem upset, he understood that Frank wasn’t ready to discuss.

“Thank you so much for not digging or being persistent,” Frank said.

“It’s really okay. We all have stories,” Gerard told him. “C’mon, princess, we gotta get going or we’re going to be super late to work. We still have to change into uniforms.” Gerard groaned, Frank felt it. The uniforms were ugly and itchy.

“I hate those uniforms,” Frank whined. “They’re ugly and fucking itchy!”

“I know the pain,” Gerard said, walking with Frank to his car.

XXX

Frank had whined the entire way there, asking Gerard why they had to go, but Gerard only laughed at him, telling him it was to “make money”. Frank hated it, hated everything about the jobs that he had, because the more he realized how hard it was to see Gerard unless he had days off. He really needed to not spend so much time with Gerard, though, because the longer he wasn’t with Gerard the more depressed that he felt. It was a spark of energy when he was with Gerard, and to only get that spark was to be _with_ Gerard, to be _close_. It felt so amazing to finally be able to trust someone with simple things, to feel that connection without having to feel like he’ll say the wrong thing and be punished, or feel alone. The story he had...well, it wasn’t time for that. He didn’t want to be a _basket case_ or someone with bags to Gerard since they were doing so good. It really, really felt nice to have someone think he was normal! Nobody knows who Frank was, even Jamia only knew the gist.

The entire time he worked, he had been close to Gerard until he started feeling anxious as he felt he could be annoying or a burden being so close to him, but he couldn’t help it. The urge to be close to someone made him not want to leave, not even when it was their lunch break, but Gerard didn’t yell or tell him to leave him alone while they were at work—he seemed happy that Frank was near, did that mean the feelings were mutual? He would have to ask Jamia later.

As they sat down with their lunches, they both looked at each other. “I like this,” Gerard said, smiling before getting a small bite of their lunch. “I like that we’re working so close to each other instead of working apart with the shitty and rude costumers.”

Frank nodded his head, covering his mouth as he chewed his food. “I know,” Frank said once he had swallowed his food. They had talked, making the most of their break, because then they were actually able to _talk_ instead of look at each other. It was amazing, too.

“Do you want to come over tonight?” Gerard asked. “I could take you to your house so you can actually wear your clothes.”

“I have to do more work after this, unfortunately, and I might not even come home until really, really late,” Frank said, sighing because he did want to go to Gerard’s. “I’m sorry, Gerard.”

“Don’t be, Frank—we all get busy, I’m not upset,” Gerard said, smiling and he patted Frank’s hand again.

“Thanks, but I don’t work the next day. Maybe _I_ can order takeout food for us,” Frank offered.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind—” Gerard tried but Frank cut him off.

“I am totally sure. Do you like pizza?” Frank asked.

“Of course,” Gerard told him.

“Then pizza it is,” Frank smiled.

“Thank you,” Gerard said, wanting nothing but for Frank to let him pay for it.


	5. It's All Fun and Games (Until Someone Falls in Love)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! i hope you guys like this!!!

They had ordered pizza on the next date that they were able to hang out, and it was becoming a regular occurrence that Frank would stay the night with Gerard. Gerard always let Frank sleep in the bed or on the couch alone, not asking questions on why he wouldn’t sleep in the same bed as him, he knew it wasn’t any of his business. Frank thanked him mentally for that. Frank liked Gerard, really liked him, but there was always this voice telling him that Gerard doesn’t like him like that, that he just pities the sad loner boy at work. That voice always saddened him. He knew with relationships it came with intimacy, sex, and he knew deep down that he wasn’t ready for that again. He liked the innocent stuff, the hand holding, the dates without expectations, and being close to each other. No kissing, no suggestive touches.

They were on another date once again, but this time it was to see a movie and to go to a small 24/7 diner. They sat in a booth, looking at each other, and a small smile crept on both of their faces. A waitress had came to their table, introducing herself.

“Hello, I am Anna, how may I help you?” she said, a notepad and pen in her hands. “We have a special going on right now—any soups or salad are under twenty.”

“I think we’ll order drinks right now, if that’s fine?” Gerard looked at Frank, smiling when Frank nodded. “I, uh...I want this.” Gerard pointed to a soda. Anna wrote it down immediately, then turned to Frank.

“Um, I want orange juice,” Frank told her, there was something familiar with her—he could tell, but he couldn’t figure out what. It made him nauseous, he had tried digging a lot of the traumatic situations back, but a lot of them couldn’t go away besides the small details. When he was with Master, they had gone on small trips to the grocery store, but never out to dinner. Ever. Slaves were to make the dinner. Sometimes, Master would have one or two slaves when Frank was bad and was stuck in the cage. Frank was the only one to truly please him. However, sometimes he’d invite other men or women to the house, whatever he was in the mood for. It was never really the same thing—he’d find new ways to violate Frank or the slaves. Frank also knew that Master would take slaves in, and then sell them for a higher price once they didn’t look all used up or dirty. Master was nice to all the new slaves—boys or girls—and took care of them, fed them, bathed them and even gave them Frank’s room while he was hidden away.

It hit him all at once. Anna was young, she was pretty, but she had a story—Frank knew her the more he thought about Master. She was one of the slaves, she was the prettiest one Master had ever gotten, and she had talked to Frank when she had found the basement while Master was away. She fed him her food, and he had even thought he had a crush on her, maybe, because he didn’t want to think he was gay because he was raped and violated. However, the food and the conversations soon after, and he knew that Master had sold her. He had never felt lonelier.

Gerard’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. “Hey, Earth to Frankie,” he said, waving a hand in front of his face as well as laughing a little bit.

Frank finally got out of his daze, looking at Gerard’s eyes. Frank looked down at his menu, trying not to panic and cry only to ruin their date. He liked Gerard, he didn’t want to look like he was bored or anything like that, he appreciated everything that Gerard did for him.

“I’m s-sorry, Gerard,” Frank said, taking a deep breath.

“Hey, look at me,” Gerard said softly, trying to get Frank’s attention but Frank held his ground, looking at menu even though he wasn’t really reading it. He was just trying to calm himself down—to make sure he didn’t get too in depth with his terrible thoughts—he wasn’t ready to explain to Gerard and make him realize Frank was all sorts of fucked up. He knew Gerard had a terrible past but he didn’t seem to get too emotional about it, it seemed like it wasn’t as bad as Frank’s, but he didn’t want to trigger Gerard in anyway even if it was.

“Frankie, look at me,” Gerard begged again. _Frankie._ Gerard said the name Anna would call him, or when Master was in a good mood. It was also a name Master had called him when he was young—before all the violation and abuse had happened. “Frank?”

“Um, can...can I be excused for a second? Please,” Frank mumbled just loud enough for Gerard to hear, not really wanting an answer. But as soon as he got up, Gerard grabbed his wrist. It startled him, making him tense up and gasp—when he was with Master he knew what would happen if he tried running away when Master would do this. It was to catch his attention before the abuse happened.

“I’m sorry,” Frank rushed out, standing still as stone, closing his eyes. Frank shrunk his shoulders and tried making himself small, expecting Gerard to force him back into his seat. “I’m really sorry,” Frank said again, wanting Gerard to let go but he knew better than to push him away.

“It’s okay,” Gerard reassured. “I just want to know if you’re okay, even if you don’t want to talk about it—I just want to make sure. Do you want to leave?”

“N-no,” Frank forced himself to say. He could feel himself going into panic mode even more, even though he knew Gerard wouldn’t do anything, he was just used to a hand that would abuse him in many ways.

“Do you want to talk about it? I’ll listen,” Gerard offered, finally letting go of Frank. Frank let out the air that he was holding in. He could feel himself shaking, but he wanted to make that stop, to not let Gerard see how weak he was. “I won’t tell anyone.”

“You won’t like me if I do,” Frank mumbled, finally sitting down, but never looking Gerard in the eyes.

“Yes I will, but you don’t have to talk to me about it until you’re ready,” Gerard told him, rubbing his hand to try and comfort him.

“I know Anna,” Frank told him, finally looking up at Gerard. Automatically, Gerard noticed the distress and the haunted look that was plastered on Frank’s beautiful face. He wasn’t crying yet, but his eyes were watery.

“How? If you don’t mind me asking.” Gerard didn’t want to push Frank into telling him, but he wanted him to know that he didn’t need to keep all of his problems to himself—Gerard wanted him to know that it was okay if he did or didn’t want to talk, it was all up to Frank. Gerard didn’t want to make Frank feel pressured.

“In my past,” Frank told him, starting to itch himself as the feelings got too bad—it was a habit that he didn’t realize what he was doing. He didn’t notice it until he came out of his panic attack.

Gerard had no idea what Frank’s past was but he knew it wasn’t good. “I have two ears to listen,” he offered. “It’s really all up to you, Frank. I don’t want you to feel obligated to tell me. I like you, Frank. I don’t want to hurt you, okay?”

“I-I don’t...I don’t want you to treat me different or tip-toe around me—or even pity me like Jamia does,” Frank said, “And I feel like you will. That’s all everyone does. Doctors, cops, Jamia. Everyone that knows my past. You don’t know it, and I like you as well. My past is very, very dark, Gerard.”

“I can try and promise you whatever you had gone through, that I wont tip-toe around you. I won’t judge you. It won’t make me think any different of you—I think you’re perfect, I think you’re a pretty interesting person. You’re funny, you’re cute. You’re smart, and you don’t think I am some guy that seduces attractive guys. Whatever happened to you, it’s in the past,” Gerard said. “I do want you to know that, if or when—hell, maybe never—but I will always be here to listen to you. I will _never_ force you to tell me things. I don’t like hurting people, not even flies because I’m not that asshole who just want’s to buy you things in hopes for you to get into your pants. I will never be like that. I know that it takes a long time to earn trust again, or be trusted with bad pasts. It’s normal,” he added but Frank stayed quiet, taking all the information in again. “If you don’t want a relationship with me, I will be a friend and won’t pressure you into being romantically involved with me. I want you to know that it’s always up to you, and I won’t influence my opinion or my thoughts, or even feelings onto you. I’m here for you, Frank.”

Frank sighed, it wasn’t a sad sigh, but he was comforted by Gerard thoughts. Frank knew deep down that he would never be forced or hurt by Gerard words or actions, but that voice in his head told him otherwise. He was built to be submissive around strong contacts that brought him back to that horrible place. He really wanted to let Gerard to know but was it really worth it? Was it too early? Or what if Gerard treated him differently in hopes that he wouldn’t trigger him or make him crawl away from the contact Gerard isn’t afraid to make. Yes, some of the things Gerard does it takes him back, but the other actions, the smell, brings him back to Gerard—his happy place. What if Gerard _never_ invites him back over? What if Gerard is disgusted because he once had been a slave even though it was against his will?

“Are you sure you won’t treat me differently? Because if you do, it’ll hurt me in so many ways,” Frank said. “I hate being treated differently. I had walked away from that place, even when I get to thinking about it, you snap me out. You’re my happy place, my blanket. I know that’s weird—” Gerard cut him off with a kiss. It was innocent, it was a mere peck on the lips but Frank tensed but then relaxed once he knew it was Gerard’s soft, yet chapped lips. Gerard had never done that to him, ever.

“It’s not weird, Frank,” Gerard tried to say, but comforting Frank seemed difficult to him right now. Frank was worried that he would think differently about him, when he already knew something horrible had happened to him, he wasn’t stupid. He had guesses but he would never voice them, ever. It was Frank’s business, not his, and he wouldn’t ever pry when Frank was obviously not ready for that kind of trust. “Like I said, do not pressure yourself into thinking you have to tell me. You don’t even need to say the sky is blue, whatever you say is up to you.”

“I know,” Frank told him, obviously embarrassed by everything. Before Frank could say anything else, Anna had came back to write down their orders. Frank looked at Gerard, wanting to be coddled or held, or even have his hand held—whatever would comfort him and take him to his happy place.

“What would you guys like to order? I can come back if you’re ready,” she said, smiling the smile that Frank only seen every once in awhile.

There was a scar on her cheek that Frank had seen before, it wasn’t caused by Master, he would never hit the slaves that he was going to sell—it made them ugly and not worthy, it made the price go down. He also never had sex or molested them. He wanted them in mint condition. He even wanted to be tight like virgins, even if they weren’t, but why was Anna so happy? Frank was okay, but he wasn’t _happy_ like she was. Did she escape too? She wasn’t in the news or forced for her statement to be there. Frank knew he wasn’t the only one that had escaped the press. Her happiness was didn’t make sense. Maybe it was a front.

While Gerard had ordered his food, he grabbed Frank’s hand to let him know that it was okay—that he wasn’t ruining the date or making him mad by being upset—that he didn’t have to force himself into telling or talking, if he truly didn’t want to. It was all up to him. Gerard would never force him, he had said. It’ll be okay.

Frank took a deep breath, just choosing some random veggie soup. After she wrote down what they had wanted, he looked at Gerard and released the deep breath that he had been holding. “I trust you,” he said slowly. “I just worry, a lot. The only reason Jamia knows, is because sometimes I have night terrors or I get depressed for no reasons. I almost lost a job because of it—they had nothing for when they had done a background report. There was no...no missing child’s report. I don’t know my parents, Gerard. I was forced into...the...the _lifestyle_ since birth.” Frank took another shaky breath in and out, grabbing onto Gerard’s hand to keep him from going too far into depth—he wasn’t ready for that. “After a long time, I had escaped. I was no longer in that...relationship, you could say. There was nothing they could find on me, even...after it was...on the news? You know, it was caught and those people were put away.”

Gerard could tell that he wasn’t telling the entire story, but he wasn’t going to force Frank to do that. “And to this day, I don’t know who my parent’s are. I have a feeling they were into heavy drugs, gave me up when they realized they couldn’t afford me, maybe. It’s okay, though. I feel like they would’ve done...a horrible job at raising me. I’m not saying that the guy who did, did any better. Until I had hit puberty, he was nice. He took me out on trips, parks, anything—my childhood was great, until I had gotten older. There’s a lot of things that make me uncomfortable, but I’m okay with you. You don’t pressure me to sleep in your bed, you don’t make me touch your...your, you know...” Frank trailed off. “I’m not ready for that. I would like a relationship with you, but intimacy, sex, makes me super uncomfortable right now. I hope you understand that. I am so grateful that you don’t treat me different and I hope that continues—I like these dates, I like working near you, I like hanging out at your house. I feel safe. I know you won’t hurt me.”

“Frank, I will never pressure into doing anything like that with me. I understand that you care for me, I care for you, too. I will never, ever hurt you or do anything you feel uncomfortable with,” Gerard said once Frank was finished. “I won’t ask questions unless you feel comfortable with that. I won’t treat you any differently, I will treat you like anyone else—if I do something you don’t like, I want you to tell me so I don’t do it again. If there is something I do to you, or call you, or anything remotely like that, please tell me. I like you a lot, I don’t want you to slip out of my hand because of my stupidity.” Gerard held both of Frank’s hands now, looking into his eyes to show he was being honest. “Hell, if we get into a relationship, if it get’s to that point, I will do whatever you want. If it doesn’t, then I won’t push. I won’t cheat and I won’t feel rejected. It’s okay—it’s fine, I will never yell at you for saying no or stop. If you end up wanting to, then change you mind, I will stop.”

“Thank you so much, Gerard,” Frank said, realizing that Gerard was being honest. Sure, he knew Gerard would slip up, or say something, or do something wrong—but that’s okay. Frank knows that Gerard will stop whatever it is. “It’s okay to ask questions. I’ll tell you if I don’t feel like talking about it.”

“Okay, but are you sure?” Gerard asked.

“I’m sure,” Gerard told him, smiling when their dinner came back with a different server. It comforted them both. “It goes for you, too.”

XXX

They had went back to Gerard’s by Frank’s request even though he knew they had work in the morning, but Frank was smart enough to bring his clean uniform and clothes. He knew he wouldn’t move in with Gerard, he had known Gerard for three to four months, but Frank wanted things to go slow—Gerard respected that. They wound up on the couch, Frank’s head on Gerard’s shoulder as they watched a random action movie that Gerard had picked out, it was a good movie, Frank could tell, but he was getting tired. There was another thirty or forty minutes left, but he didn’t want to disappoint Gerard by getting too tired and falling asleep.

It surprised Frank when Gerard let out a loud yawn, looking at Frank. “I’m getting tired,” he said. “We can finish the movie tomorrow, if you want?”

“Sure,” Frank said, smiling.

“Alright, good, I’m going to go get you a blanket and pillow, okay?” Gerard said, already heading to his bedroom to get stuff for Frank.

“Thank you,” Frank said, accepting the blankets.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments? concerns?


	6. I Can't Shake You Off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, i hope this chapter is okay? i mean, theres not much action--just a filler, sorry. i hope you enjoy it anyway.

Frank sat in his therapist’s office, getting comfy in the chair and being ready to update her since their last visit. Frank had been getting better when he was with Gerard more, but the diner had made him step back, but he learned that Gerard would be there, even when he was holding back information from Gerard—Gerard didn’t care that Frank had done that.

“Hello, Frank. How are you?” Dr. Vaun asked, smiling her bright smile to Frank. It was another one of things liked about her—her smile was genuine.

Frank nodded. “I’m okay,” he said, smiling to himself. “I have something to talk about, though.”

“Oh, yeah? What is it?”

“So, I have told you about Gerard...we like going on dates, there’s no pressure with him, you know?” Frank started out, not waiting for an answer. “Recently, I had been staying at his house, but sleeping in separate rooms—I didn’t need to tell him why, he just understood. However, we had gone to a diner, it was going so well, until I had seen the waitress. Her name was Anna.”

“What about Anna?” Vaun pushed gently, trying to get more on this topic Frank brought up. “Did she do something?”

Frank shook his head. “No, but I knew her,” he said. “She, uh, she was one of Master’s girls that he sold. She used to visit me when I was in the cage. It had been a long time until I seen her, she was so nice to me, you know? She was the first person to be nice to me in years. She fed me and let me use the bathroom instead of a bucket, she let me shower while Master was gone. I was forever grateful towards her. My first friend, but then she was sold...I had never seen her until now.”

“Did she trigger a memory?”

“Yes, but...at first it was bad, and I didn’t want to ruin the date, so I asked to be excused. Gerard could tell I was upset, clearly, but he caught my arm—not in a mean way, but just a way to get my attention. The first instinct was to be submissive and say sorry.” Frank sighed. “But he let go once I sat back down. He offered to listen, but at first I was worried that he wouldn’t like me anymore—that he would pity me or tip-toe around me like everyone else. I didn’t tell him everything or why I knew Anna besides my past. I just told him I was in a bad lifestyle and then the men were put away, basically.”

“Is there a reason you just gave him small details?” Vaun wrote down some notes. “Is there a reason why you didn’t exactly tell him how you knew Anna?”

Frank bit his lip, looking down at his clasped hands as he thought deeply. “I really like Gerard. I know that maybe my love is skewed because of my past—but I know it’s not. When I was with...Master, before he had hurt me, I felt love like a parental kind of thing, you know? Like when you love your parents. But then the abuse started, I felt hatred towards that man and only forced the love to save my life—”

“That’s Stockholm Syndrome,” Vaun pointed out.

“Yes, I know that,” Frank told her. “When I’m with Gerard, I just...I feel special when I’m with him. I know he wont intentionally hurt me—he may do or say something I don’t like, but I’ll be okay because he didn’t mean to. He even gave me a speech about it. He told me he would never hurt me or pressure me into anything. He says it’s all up to me.”

“Which it is,” Vaun said, smiling brighter that Frank was comfortable saying all of this. “No one should tell you that you need to do something unless you want to.”

Frank smiled, his cheeks tented red. “I feel really comfortable with him.” Frank began biting his lip. “But I worry about something.”

“Worry about what?”

“About Gerard’s trauma,” Frank looked at Vaun, biting his lip a little bit. “I knew he was involved with something bad, but he hasn’t told me.”

“Give him time, Frank,” Vaun told him.

XXX

Frank walked over to Gerard’s house, lightly knocking on the door. The nerves were getting bad because he wanted to share his trauma in hopes Gerard would share his. He knew it was probably a bad idea, but he wanted to know more about Gerard so they wouldn’t trigger each other…Frank really cared about Gerard, almost too much especially since they’ve know each other so little time, but Frank wanted to make progress in this relationship. If Gerard knew the gist and hadn’t tip-toed around Frank, would he tip-toe now when he had the full story? Frank sure hoped not.

Gerard answered, showing that he was in pajama pants, his hair a mess and his clothes all askew. It was cute, Frank thought, so he giggled. “Did I wake you?” Frank asked, smiling as Gerard looked tired.

“Sorta? I mean, I should’ve gotten up earlier since I knew you were going to come over,” Gerard said, running a hand through his messy black hair. “Come in, though. I’ll just be a minute.” Gerard led Frank in, sitting him down on the couch.

Gerard left the room, leaving Frank alone. Frank had gotten up to look around the small house he spent half of his time in, and took in all the surroundings. There were pieces of art all around the room, in the corner near the kitchen were some art canvases. There were so much color in this house—it fit with Gerard’s attitude and personality. Nothing about this house was dull or boring. Frank never really looked at the house and all the items in it when he was here—he wanted nothing but to look at Gerard. He wanted to listen to Gerard, to look at him, and take _him_ in. The more Frank thought about it, the more he realized that he wouldn’t mind moving in with Gerard if they were going to move forward in the relationship. He wanted everything that consisted with Gerard.

He never really thought too much about having sex with Gerard, but it was in the back of his mind. It normally would make him anxious if he did think about having sex because he knew his body was far from perfect, it was all scarred up, and he could still see how skinny he was because he could never put on that much weight. He could see his ribs, hip bones, and he felt as if that would be unattractive to Gerard, but who knew? He liked Frank, he could tell, but what if...what if what he saw in the sheets, would be repulsive? He couldn’t help all the scars were there—they were almost everywhere...hips...chest...thighs, breastbone...back. Everywhere. No one truly saw him naked, naked besides Master.

Frank sighed, continuing his own tour of the house as he looked at all the art, and everything that represented Gerard. It truly was interesting, but he knew he couldn’t dig too deep into the house because he didn’t want Gerard to know that he was snooping through his things—it was too risky. Frank folded his hands when he had sat down, waiting for Gerard to come out of the bedroom. The more he thought about Gerard, the more Frank wanted to know about his underlying secrets, even the simple things—not just his trauma. Frank didn’t care if Gerard just told him the gist, hell, he just wanted Gerard to know that he was here, too, and that it wasn’t just one-sided.

“Hey! Sorry that took too long,” Gerard said, walking closer to Frank to sit down. “So, how are you?”

Frank nodded and smiled. “I’m okay, you?”

“I’m good, tired but, I’m good,” Gerard said, returning the smile back at Frank.

“Can I tell you something?” Frank looked at Gerard then back down at his lap, wringing his hands as the nervous got to be too much. “I-it’s of...my past? I just...I want t-to talk about it. If you don’t, that’s okay.”

“Hey...you can talk to me about anything, okay?”

Frank nodded. “I know I told you the gist about what my past was, but I feel like I should go more in depth, if that’s okay.”

“That’s fine,” Gerard said, rubbing Frank’s hands to show that he was trying to comfort him.

“I-I just, I like you, okay?” Frank started out. “A-and, I want you...you to know that I want to be romantic with you. I have issues, though—I’m working to get them controlled, and I want you to be with me. I really, really like you, Gerard. I know I haven’t had a boyfriend ever, and that you’re actually one I’d like to be my first.”

“Is...is that what you wanted to tell me? That you want to be in a relationship with me?” Gerard stopped rubbing Frank’s hand, shocked that Frank would ask that.

“It’s part of it, yeah—if you don’t want to, that’s okay—” Frank started to rant until Gerard pressed one of their innocent kisses to Frank before pulling away.

“Of course I want to,” Gerard whispered, holding both of Frank’s hands. “Do you want to talk about the other thing?” Frank nodded. “Alright, I’m listening.”

“I have a lot of baggage,” Frank tried starting again. “But you already knew that, but I want you to know me more in hopes of me knowing you better. I know we’ve both had shitty pasts, but I want us to both overcome that together. I don’t know exactly what happened to you, and I hope it isn’t like mind, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.” Frank looked up to see a flash of pain in Gerard’s eyes, but then that look went away as he went back to focus on Frank. “But…he goes nothing I guess. I was forced into...the sex-trafficking since I was a baby. At first, it wasn’t like that, and I was with a guy that I had to call Master—it wasn’t Sir, like the kinky stuff, but he was my guardian. He home-schooled me, so I wouldn’t have my face anywhere to be seen. Um, he raised me, and when I hit an age where my body...would, um, react naturally? I guess, I had asked him about it, and he wanted to show me. Master had touched me inappropriately but the rape didn’t happen until I was fifteen or sixteen, when I was done fully developing.”

Gerard stayed quiet during all of this, he kept rubbing Frank’s hand and nodding his head, trying to comfort him as he poured all of his past out between his lips. Frank was forever grateful for Gerard coming into his life. “Anyway, after he took my virginity, it was painful—I cried for days, and he promised me he would never hurt me that way again. Obviously, he lied and did it again...and again. This went on until I was twenty. I ran away when Master had went away to get another slave. The reason I knew Anna was because Master would take in and care for the slaves so he could sell them at a higher price. While he was gone, Anna found the basement where I was kept and she cared for me. She was gone in a blink of an eye. Master only had sex with whores, not slaves. There’s a difference. When he would have sex with the whores, it would be right in front of me—I would hear their pleas, screams for him to stop. Sometimes, it still rings in my head. That is why I’m not ready for sex.”

Frank finally locked eyes with Gerard, he was looking in the distance, almost in a daze it seemed. When he felt Frank’s eyes on him, he looked at Frank, and kissed his cheek. “It’s okay now,” Gerard said, wanting nothing but to wrap him up in a hug.

“Please don’t tip-toe around me now that I told you. Like I said, if you do something to make me uncomfortable, I will tell you,” Frank said, wishing and hoping that this comfort would not end and he would have to change his decision because Gerard started to pity him.

“I won’t do that, Frank. Now can I tell you something? Something about me?” Gerard asked. “Since you opened yourself up to me, can I open myself up to you?” Frank nodded. “Alright. Um, shit—where do I start?”

“Take your time.”

“Alright, well…when I was around sixteen or seventeen, my brother and I had realized that our parents were in very dirty business—like gangs and stuff. But they never really got us involved because of how dangerous it was, you know? My grandma tried taking us away us away from that but due to her age, she was never able to.” Gerard sighed. “Anyway, one day these people broke into our house, and it was during dinner time. Everyone was there—Grandma, Mom, Dad, me, and Mikey. The intruders turned out to be someone from my parents’ ‘business’, and they proceeded to hold me and Mikey hostage. There was a _gun_ to our heads. I forget why they were there, but...in the end, I was the only survivor besides my Dad. I never forgave him,” Gerard finished. “He could be dead by now...I don’t know if he ever got out of that stuff? But I don’t want him back in my life. Especially now that there is people I care about. I care about you, Frank. I loved Mikey—we were best fuckin’ friends, and so was my Grandma. My parents took all of that away.”

“I’m sorry for your loss, Gerard,” Frank mumbled, wanting to kiss Gerard’s cheek like he always did, but Frank didn’t know if the gesture was welcome or not.

“I haven’t told anyone about this in a very long time—besides Jamia. She really helps, doesn’t she?” Gerard laughed, but it sounded forced. “But it’s okay, Frank. It’s been almost a decade. I’ve managed to do all of this on my own.”

“Do you miss them?”

“Of course I do. I still visit their graves every once in awhile,” Gerard sighed. “I’m glad I have you in my life now. You make it better without realizing it, you know that?”

Frank blushed. “Really?”

“Yeah, maybe I’ll take you sometime—introduce you,” Gerard said, smiling as he looked to Frank. Frank bowed his head, hiding his smile and blush. “They’ll love you.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.”


	7. I Carry Band-Aids On Me Now (For When Your Soft Hands Hit the Jagged Ground)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wOOOOO another update

Frank felt Gerard’s hands rubbing all over him—pleasuring him, it was a new feeling. How could Gerard want him, in such away? He was scarred but...Gerard seen beyond those flaws, didn’t he? God, Frank loved the feeling Gerard was giving him, touching him in all the right spots. Gerard pressed his lips against Frank’s, slipping his tongue inside, making Frank moan lightly. Frank spread his legs for Gerard to get in-between them. Shit, if Master—No, Frank wasn’t going to think about him while Gerard was over top him, making him feel safe—lustful, sinful...special, even. Gerard’s mouth was sinful.

Frank felt Gerard break away from the kiss, slowly kissing down from his neck to his navel. The kisses so short and tiny, a nip here and there, leaving red marks. Frank looked down at Gerard’s black hair, wanting so bad to grab it but too pleasured to grab a hold of it. When Gerard got past his navel, close to Frank’s erection, he licked from the tip to his balls, kissing the tip, and then swallowing around him. Frank felt his breathing shaky, struggling to take a deep breath in as he felt the warm, wet feeling around him. Frank had to close his eyes, bit his lip to hold in the moans that were threatening to spill out of his mouth.

“Fuck, Frank, you taste so good, Baby,” Gerard muttered, kissing and licking the tip to taste the pre-come. Honestly, Frank could come just from hearing Gerard talk like that, it was almost too much for him. “C’mon, Baby, let me hear those moans—tell me how good I make you feel.”

“Please, Gerard—I need it,” Frank begged, gripping the sheets when Gerard began to tease him. It was so tortuously slow, making Frank crave so much more. “Please! I need it!”

“You _need_ it? Baby, how much do you _need_ it?” Gerard stopped stroking him all together, his hand just gripping him, making his own hips do the work. Frank honestly would cry if Gerard stopped altogether—teasing him and leaving him with an erection. He needed this like he needed to breath, fuck.

“Don’t tease me,” Frank pleaded with him. “If you let me come, I will make you come.”

“How so?”

“I’ll do anything, please.”

XXX

Frank woke up with a startle, he was in a sweat as he looked around and noticed he was in his and Jamia’s apartment rather than in Gerard’s—which thank fuck for that considering the dream he had. He looked down at himself, realizing that the dream had caused him an erection. It had been so long since he’s truly had one as sex always turned him off, but that dream made him aroused. He didn’t know if he even wanted Gerard that way, like ever. But obviously, his body did—he knew what to do with an erection, but he was too nervous to touch himself anymore. That was bad, Master would say—that it was his job to touch Frank. Frank was not allowed to touch himself in anyway—not even to bathe himself.

Frank could feel himself start to cry because his body was still functioning in that way, but he didn’t want to! Why did he have to have that fucking dream?! Why did he have to have this problem he didn’t feel like dealing with? Yes, he knew very well how to make it go away, but he was not about to do anything about it except make it go away...he wished it would just go back to normal—when he didn’t have these because of what happened.

“Please, please…” he muttered to himself, in hopes it would go away. Pathetically, he could feel himself going into a panic attack. What could he do to change this? He tried thinking of Master in all the worst ways possible.

There was a time when Frank had disobeyed Master—refusing to clean up Master’s shit that he had lying around, it wasn’t Frank’s shit to deal with, now was it? Frank stomped his foot, looking him dead in the eye. Frank used to have fight left, before all the rape and molestation happened. Frank wanted to leave Master, hated it because he realized how shitty this fucking situation was—realizing his parents abandoned him. He fucking hated _everything_ and _everyone_.

The next thing Frank knew, was Master’s hand yanking him by the hair to the bedroom. Frank had been thrown against the wall so hard that there was a dent. Frank felt woozy from the blow—pretty sure he had a concussion, but would never voice such a problem when Master was angry like this.

“You think you _run_ this place?” Master snarled. “You think you can _boss_ me around, Frank?”

Frank looked down at his hands. “No, Master.”

“That’s what I thought, you worthless slave.” Master kicked him in the stomach, but forced him to look into his eyes. “You do realize that I can kill you, right? That I don’t need you here besides the fact that your parents forced you upon me?” Frank nodded. “I don’t know why I didn’t kill you as a baby. All you did was fuckin’ cry. Now, that’s all you ever fucking do still!”

“I’m sorry, Master,” Frank dared to speak. “What can I do?”

“What can you do?” Master scoffed. “You’re going to the cage.”

“Master! No!” Frank said, tried yanking the hand out of his hair, throwing punches and kicks. He knew that it’d only get him more punishment rather than having Master stop, but he hated the cage. There was no where to stretch his legs, there was no warmth as it was in the basement, and he had to use a bucket for a toilet—he would go days without food or water until Master gave him scraps from his dinner. Frank was already starved as it was...he wished he would die from all the lack of nutrition.

Frank snapped out of his thoughts, automatically looked down at himself and sighed in relief as he noticed that his _problem_ was gone, but he was feeling depressed now and wished he could go back to sleep but he had work to attend to. He knew Gerard and Jamia both worked today, maybe that would get him out of his worried thoughts, but he doubted it...he wished he never had that _problem_ and he didn’t have to think of Master to make it go away. Frank had no idea why Gerard would want a useless human like Frank, what good could come out of it? What if Frank could never have Gerard that way despite his words of not cheating? What if he did? Frank would never be able to handle such heartbreak...Frank didn’t know what was so ‘cute’ about him. If Gerard saw all of Frank—every flaw—he would realize how ugly he was. No one could ever want Frank the way Frank wanted Gerard.

XXX

Frank sighed as he went to work, clocking in as soon as he arrived, still wishing that he could just go back to bed under the comfort of his blankets. Frank didn’t even think the comfort of Gerard could really help him at this moment, it was about Gerard—well, somewhat anyway. The dream was. Not him thinking of Master. Why did Frank have to fucking fall for Gerard? Why couldn’t he have just been the loner and left Gerard fucking alone?! It was all Gerard’s fault! No...no it wasn’t—not really, it was Frank’s. You can’t help from falling in love.

“Hey!” Gerard said, noticing Frank right away.

Frank forced a smile on his face. “Hey,” he said.

“Are you okay?” Gerard whispered so no one else could hear them. Frank looked at Gerard and then nodded his head, obviously lying. “You can tell me, Frank.”

“No.” Frank walked away to go attend the customers in his line.

Once he was on lunch, he sat a little further from Gerard—wanting to avoid the ‘are you okay’ or ‘you sure’ thing all together. Of course he wasn’t okay. Of course he was fucking depressed once again. He was depressed because of something naturally that happens to the male body. Fuck Master for making him this way.

Of course, when he saw Jamia he knew that Gerard had sent her back here to make him talk. She pulled out a chair, sitting in front of him. “Alright, kiddo, spit it out.”

“Can’t you and Gerard get the fuckin’ hint that I don’t want to speak?! I don’t need you or him asking me all these fucking questions or making me spill all of my problems. How about you guys both fuck off.” Frank got up, throwing away his lunch and getting back to work—he wasn’t exactly pissed, mostly annoyed and depressed from his thoughts. He knew he shouldn’t have spoken to Jamia that way at all.

XXX

Once work was over with, he checked his schedule to make sure had didn’t have anymore work. He noticed that working three jobs was getting easier as they needed him that often than usual, which was good. It gave him more time to himself. Frank was still ashamed of himself, though—Jamia was his best friend and Gerard...well...what were they? Were they boyfriends or just...he didn’t know. That also made him depressed.

Frank walked his way home. Jamia offered to take him home but he said a harsh no, which was a stupid idea since it was dark outside, and he knew what walked around the Jersey streets, of course. He’s seen the horrors from the real world but it was nothing he could do about it if someone picked him up or raped him in the alley—well, it’d be his fault for walking alone in the dark streets. What if Master’s friends seen his face? Well, shit—they wouldn’t waste time pulling his pants down and raping him either. Who cared, though? Certainly not him.

Frank had made it home without anyone grabbing him, of course, but he was still locked outside since Jamia wasn’t home just yet. The darkness had become chilly even in the summer air, but his self-hatred didn’t care. Who cares if he froze to death? He knew he wouldn’t but he secretly hoped so...but as soon as he seen Jamia’s headlights he was a little bit relieved that he wouldn’t have to wait any longer than he already did.

Jamia parked the car, walking over to her apartment and looked Frank dead in the eye. “I really want to punch you right now, but I won’t. But you do have to tell me what’s going through your mind, Frank.” She held out her hand to help him get off the steps and get inside. “What happened that made you in this mood? Did Gerard say something? Did you...go into an attack?”

“No,” he said when they walked inside and sat on the couch. “I don’t want to say.”

“Why not? I’m your best friend, Frank,” she said, hoping those words would have Frank spill out his problems.

“Because they’re not your problems, Jamia—why can’t either of you understand that! Why can’t I keep anything to myself?!”

“Because when you do, you drive yourself mad,” she said bluntly. “You will sit in bed for days on end—risking your job. Your relationships.”

“Who cares,” Frank muttered, looking away from Jamia.

“Please, Frank, tell me,” she begged, looking into Frank’s eyes.

“I just had a bad dream,” he lied.

“I don’t think that’s just it, though—please, tell me the truth! I will help you, Frank.” Jamia sighed, wanting nothing more than to help Frank. “Just let me help you.”

“I’m too embarrassed,” he said, mumbling the words.

“About what?”

“You’ll think it’s gross.”

“No—tell me.”

“Um...I, uh, had a dirty dream about Gerard...and uh, I woke up...with a y’know,” Frank said, his cheeks tented red and he dared to look up at Jamia. “I hate when my body does that—I didn’t want to touch it. I thought of Master to get rid of it and it only made me depressed...and mad. More...like self-hatred, though and I took it out you and Gerard.”

“Oh, Sweetie! That’s okay,” she said, hugging him tightly. “That’s okay, I promise. I won’t tell Gerard, obviously, but just know that even if you don’t want to touch it, but you have to think about something else—think of Mr. Harrell, the mean old man who bitches about _everything_. The cups not right, it’s too cold, there’s not enough blah!”

Frank giggled. “I hate him,” he said meekly.

“Me too, bud—me too,” she said, patting his shoulder. “C’mon—let’s go to bed and I’ll tell you about my new crush.”

“Crush? Who?” Frank noticed that Jamia was blushing—they never talked about her sexuality, it was always a mystery to Frank. “Jamia! Tell me!”

“You know the new co-worker? The girl with, like, loads of tattoos?”

“JAMIA!” Frank giggled. “You’re a queer like me?!”

“Why else would I bring you in?” she winked. “Anyway, I have a date with her. Be jealous.”

  



	8. I’m So Weak For You (What Should I Do?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!! so i will be gone from the 19th to the 25th because i am going to florida, but i will try to update more if i can. but hey, i got another tattoo and it hurts like a bitch. which i probably planned that out all wrong considering i cant get it wet or get sun on it, soooo. whoops.  
> also, i would've updated this with more words but it wasn't going good and it was too early for the stuff they were doin, sorry.

Frank sat across from Gerard at their favorite coffee shop, coffees in hands, and so was their pastry that they were sharing together. Frank slowly sipped his coffee, blushing under Gerard’s gaze. “How are you?” Gerard asked, noticing Frank’s blush but didn’t want to point it out.

“I’m okay, you?” Frank said, his blush would not go away if Gerard kept looking at him like he was the rarest person in the entire world—that he was the only special thing in Gerard’s life. Frank knew that Gerard was the only special thing in his life, and he appreciated everything Gerard has done—even the small stuff.

“Good,” Gerard told him, he reached his hands to grab Frank’s, stroking his knuckles softly.

“Jamia had a date with our new co-worker,” Frank muttered, squeezing Gerard’s hands. It felt good for Gerard to be holding his hands like that, he felt the warmth and the infatuation radiating off of Gerard the longer they looked at each other—it wasn’t love, yet, but it was getting pretty damn close. They were both falling for each other, trust each other with their secrets, their pasts. When Frank looked at Gerard, it felt like he was the only one in the world—his world, no problems, no worries. It was just warmth and _almost_ love. It was so innocent, and Frank wanted everything from Gerard. He and Gerard wanted to wait until it came to that time, but Gerard kept reassuring Frank that he would never pressure him into doing that stuff, ever.

“Really? I would’ve never thought,” Gerard said, a small smile on his face. “Lindsey is pretty nice, though. She looks all tough with those tattoos.”

“I want tattoos,” Frank said. “I have tons of ideas, but I dunno. I want to keep a good job in my future, you know? Would you get a tattoo?”

Gerard pursed his lips and shook his head. “No. I don’t like needles,” he said. “It’s a phobia.”

“I hate spiders—even the small ones.”

“They’re not that bad.”

Frank scowled and looked at Gerard like he was some kind of weirdo. “Uh. No? Dude, nothing should have eight legs!”

“Awww, Frank, but they’re so cute!”

“No!” Frank whined a little bit.

“You’re cute.” Gerard giggled at Frank when his face turned bright red and he had his hair hide his face. Frank flipped Gerard off and shook his head, still not even looking at Gerard. “C’mon, you know you are, too.”

“Shut up,” Frank said, still looking down at his lap. “No, I’m not.”

“Aww, Frank, you’re blushing.” Gerard raised Frank’s chin and pushed his hair out of his face. “You really are cute, though. I want you to believe that, okay?”

Frank rolled his eyes. “Maybe you’re looking in a mirror,” he whispered. “Because _I_ think you’re cute.”

Gerard rolled and shook his head. “Do you want to come over?”

“Sure.” Frank got up from his seat, accepting Gerard’s hand as they walked together to Gerard’s car.

XXX

They had walked into the living room after Frank beat Gerard’s ass in a board game. They sat side by side with each other, closer than they had ever been together and it still gave Frank that fuzzy feeling, he laid his head on Gerard’s shoulders—something he had never done before—and sighed contently. Gerard wrapped an arm around Frank’s shoulders, adding more closeness. There wasn’t even anything on TV or the radio—Frank felt better feeling and hearing Gerard breathing, the smell of Gerard’s body soap. Gerard was rubbing Frank’s shoulders and arms, it felt comforting. Frank wanted nothing more than for this moment to live forever.

“You never showed me your Peter Pan moment,” Frank said, looking up at Gerard. “I wanna see it.”

Now, it was time for Gerard to blush. “Why? I was a fat kid!”

“I bet you looked cute.”

“Fine—you’re lucky I like you.” Gerard got up, leaving Frank to feel cold for just a small minute before Gerard came back with a photo book. On the front it had Gerard’s name in stickers, obviously old because the stickers were coming off. “This book is pretty old. I think my Grandma made it when I was kid.”

Gerard handed Frank the book, getting close to each other again. Frank looked at Gerard and noticed he was biting his lip, he was nervous Frank could tell. Maybe it was a bad idea to look through something this personal—it held all of Gerard memories in pictures. It was private—it was personal. Gerard was letting him further into his past, making himself vulnerable to Frank. It was a simple thing, but it meant a lot to them both.

With a big sigh, Frank opened the book. “Which page is it on?” he asked.

“You can look through all of it, if you want,” Gerard told him.

“Are...are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Frank bit his lip and looked at Gerard again before fully looking at all the pictures. It made Frank feel torn because he didn’t think he would be able to do this even if he did have pictures of his childhood, but he would let Gerard inside his mind, and maybe someday his body. Frank scooted even closer to Gerard, leaning with his head on his chest, hearing his heartbeat as he looked through the pictures. Mostly it was pictures of his grandma or his brother Mikey, and Christmas pictures or birthday pictures.

Frank had came to a certain picture where it had been a school picture. It was possibly a high school picture, and Gerard pointed to it. “That was my high school picture. I was fat—no one liked me,” he laughed, it sounded sad and forced but it was him getting out of his bad memories. “I don’t think you would’ve talked to me in high school, either.”

“I’m sure I would’ve,” Frank told him, looking up at him and his tented red cheeks. “I think you were cute then and cute now.”

Gerard shook his head. “Do you want to see Mikey’s?” Frank nodded as Gerard flipped to a picture of Mikey’s high school picture. “That’s Mikey when he was in high school. Not much better, eh?” Frank giggled and blushed, refusing to answer. Gerard poked his side and smiled, handing back the book.

There was a baby pictures of both Mikey and Gerard, one where Gerard was lying in the crib with him and holding his hand. It was really cute and it made Frank smile—all the pictures of Mikey and Gerard smiled, he could tell that they were close and loved each other. They truly were best friends. It was a shame of what had happened to Gerard and that those people took his best friend away, it was really, really sad. As Frank kept looking, he was taking his time looking at all the baby pictures—Frank wished Gerard still had his brother. Frank wanted nothing more than for Gerard to be happy, even if he says he is.

Frank wasn’t fully happy, he was okay—he wanted to get to that point. He didn’t want to stay numb to certain things. He didn’t want to be reminded of Master or think about sad things but that inevitable, he knew that. He just really wanted to be happy like Gerard, and not just feel _okay_. He wanted to give something more to Gerard—he wanted everything from Gerard, just like he wanted to give everything to him to be fair. He wanted to _love_ Gerard. He wanted Gerard to fill the empty and numb feeling that Frank felt when he was alone in his own thoughts...he wanted Gerard to fight for him when Frank would push him away.

Once it had gotten to the picture of Gerard in the Peter Pan costume, Frank laughed hard and pointed to it. “Oh my god! That’s so cute, Gerard.” Frank couldn’t stop laughing at the picture of how cute and embarrassing it truly was.

Gerard pouted. “No, it’s _embarrassing_!”

“Embarrassingly cute!” Frank poked his nose, turning Gerard’s face towards him and leaning up to kiss his pouty lips. It was quick but it stopped Gerard from pouting, it caused them both to smile, and Frank sat the book down on the coffee table, snuggling back onto Gerard. “What do you want to do now?”

“Hmm.” Gerard hummed for a little before turning on the TV, looking through the movies until Frank chose a random movie.

XXX

Frank woke up noticing he was sleeping beside Gerard, his head on his lap and Gerard was snoring with his head being supported by his hand. Frank didn’t feel threatened by the position that they were in—it made him even more safe because he was lying where Gerard privates were, and Gerard hadn’t forced Frank to touch him when he was lying there—it wasn’t awkward at all, but the movement stirred Gerard awake.

Gerard looked down and smiled sleepily. “Hi,” he said, rubbing his eyes. “Sorry—I fell asleep as soon as you did.”

“It’s okay,” Frank said, slowly sitting up from his position. “It was a nice nap, though. You’re warm.”

“I’m glad. I’m hungry, are you?” Gerard asked, petting Frank’s hair. Frank nodded, not wanting to move from their position but knowing he had to.

“I don’t wanna move,” Frank groaned. “You’re too comfy. Don’t make me.” Frank kept whining and looking up at Gerard has he pouted like a child.

“Well...we can’t exactly eat anything while were lying on each other, now can we?”

Frank rolled his eyes and started sitting up. “Meanie,” he mumbled, wrapping his arms around his legs. “You took my warmth away.”

Gerard chuckled. “What would you like?”

“You,” Frank said, it wasn’t sexual at all, he just wanted Gerard’s company. “Buut...since I can’t have you...you tell me what you want.”

“I mean, I can order Chinese food, if you want or I can cook.”

“Surprise me,” Frank told him. “If you order food, we can cuddle until it gets here.”

“Chinese it is, then?”

“Yes.”

XXX

There was take-out boxes thrown around the coffee table, looking at each other as the movie played as background noises. They didn’t really care for what was on, really, they just like hearing each others voices, sighs. Frank wanted to sleep next to Gerard—actually sleep in his bed, hearing all the snores or sighs, anything that came from Gerard. He wanted to feel the warmth and wake up to help fix breakfast, or go out to get coffee and go to work together, but that would mean Frank would have to get his night clothes and work uniform. But was he strong enough to sleep next to another man in a bed? What if he backed out and disappointed Gerard?

“Hey,” Gerard said, poking Frank to get him out of his thoughts. “What’re you thinkin’ about?”

“You,” Frank said in all honesty, looking at Gerard with a smile on his face, getting close to him.

“What about me?”

“You never asked me out properly,” Frank pointed out, smirking.

“Neither did you!” Gerard sat up, making Frank sit up too. Frank rolled his eyes but before he could say anything, Gerard pressed a kiss that lingered there more than usual. Frank felt himself sigh and relax into it, he felt Gerard’s fingers on his cheek, and Frank held onto his wrists. Was this kiss going to go deeper? Was he ready for that? It was well worth a try.

Frank felt himself open his mouth a fraction of an inch. He felt himself buzz with energy and anxiety, but it wasn’t bad anxiety, he felt safe when Gerard had his hands on him. Frank could feel Gerard’s calloused finger tips, his chapped lips against his own. Frank felt Gerard open his mouth, too, very hesitant to make the kiss deeper, but he opened his mouth too—waiting for Frank to make the next move. Frank did, though, he put his tongue near Gerard, wrapping around.

Frank could feel the energy between their kiss. The way their face was pressed together, Gerard’s grip never loosening or tightening, it was just there. Frank could feel Gerard’s taste buds, and it was comforting as well—as weird as that sounded, but Frank was so content that he didn’t want this to end. He wanted more. But how much was more? Was it sexual? Was it Frank touching…? Was it Gerard touching? Did it have to lead to _more_?

Frank needed all of Gerard, except in that way...he wanted to see everything that was Gerard—his emotions, his memories, his life. He wanted everything from Gerard. He wasn’t scared to be around him, to be near him or trust him. This is as close as he had ever been with someone willingly, and it felt amazing—it felt so great to not be forced or coerced into doing this. Frank could feel his heart beating and when he had slid his hand to Gerard’s chest he could feel Gerard’s heart beating too. Frank closed his even tighter as he felt his pants getting smaller. Did he want this? How far would he let himself go?

Frank felt Gerard’s hands slip from his face to his shoulder, then—just like where Frank’s hand was—laid it on Frank’s chest to feel his heart beat. Frank pressed closer to Gerard, but not exactly wanting to be in his lap so Gerard wouldn’t know about Frank’s problem. Frank still didn’t know how far he wanted to go with Gerard—definitely not _all_ the way. What about a little further than they have ever been? Well, this was further than they ever had been...but what if Frank went _further_?

Frank and Gerard pulled away to suck in air and that was when Frank noticed that Gerard’s cheeks were tented red, his lips were swollen, and he was breathing heavy. Gerard’s eyes looked a little glazed until they had looked at each other, sighing contently when their eyes had met. Frank’s problem was still there and he wanted to go further...but would his body _let_ him?

“Wow,” Gerard said dumbly, smiling brightly but still panting. “You’re really good at that. I hadn’t expected that, honestly.”

Frank giggled and blushed. “Thanks,” he said, that was the only response he could come up with. “Still. That’s no answer on us being together.”

“Neither was your answer,” Gerard pointed out, eyebrows raised.

“How about this?” Frank leaned forward to press their lips together again. Frank debated internally whether he should sit in Gerard’s lap or not, but he said fuck it, and found himself getting on Gerard’s lap. Frank didn’t regret that decision, either, he greatly loved it—it made it easier to kiss Gerard. He never wanted to leave Gerard’s lips, ever.

They pulled back away from each other. “Still nope,” Gerard teased. “You gotta ask.”

Frank rolled his eyes. “Fine,” he sighed dramatically. “Will you be my boyfriend?”

“I thought you would never ask!” Gerard said, putting a hand on his chest.

Frank had forgotten about his problem and all the questions on whether he would go further with Gerard tonight. It was best to wait until the both of them were fully ready for that kind of relationship—it was always a war inside of Frank’s head. It was a yes some days and a no another day. He wanted to be able to say yes without thinking or questioning his decisions. He didn’t want to regret anything sexual they would have ever do in the future. It would make Gerard hurt, Frank thought.

“I have a question,” Frank said, eying Gerard to see his reaction.

“Hmm?” Gerard hummed, resting his hands in his lap.

“Do...do you want me to stay over?” Frank bit his lip as soon as the question was out there.

“If you want to, yeah—it’d be great to have you here,” Gerard told him, sitting closer to Frank. “Don’t you want a change of clothes? Do you have work tomorrow?”

“I...uh, yeah, I was gonna text Jamia to bring me clothes,” Frank said, pulling out his phone.

“You can text her for her to bring your uniform, but you can wear my pajamas, if you want.”

“Sure.” Secretly, Frank’s stomach was doing jumps because he loved wearing Gerard’s clothes. It always smelled like Gerard’s detergent and it smelled unique. “I also have another question.”

“Go ahead.” Gerard went to his room, Frank behind him, as he grabbed pajama pants and a shirt for Frank to wear.

“Could I sleep in your bed?”

Gerard smiled like he was offered the biggest present in the entire world. “Of course,” Gerard said, hugging Frank and kissing his forehead. “I would love to cuddle you...but...I hope you don’t mind—I snore and talk in my sleep.”

Frank shook his head. “I don’t care. I like sleeping beside of you.”

“Me too,” Gerard whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments?


	9. Tag, You're It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! i wanted to make a long chapter because im actually leaving tomorrow for florida and i don't know how long it'll be until i have a proper connection, so here is something that was almost 6k!! I didn't want to really leave a cliff hanger for almost two weeks, so i hope you enjoy this chapter because i liked writing this. <3  
> Oh! trigger warning--there is the 'f' word in there, i would skip some of it if it affects you. Lots of love<33

It had been a few days since Frank had even spoken to Gerard, and it worried him. There were no texts, no calls, and he wasn’t at work at all—he stood him up on a date, even. It made Frank feel self-conscious, and he had spoken his worries onto Jamia. She told him that he must have gotten busy and hadn’t had time to talk to anyone, but that never soothed Frank. What if there was something wrong? Gerard always texted him when he was busy, even when he wasn’t supposed to.

“What if he’s hurt, Jamia?” Frank asked, sitting close to Jamia as she was eating breakfast and getting ready to go to work. Frank was supposed to be ready as well, but he was still in his pajamas. Frank knew that Jamia was probably getting fed up with all the questions about Gerard but Frank couldn’t help it—Frank cared a lot about Gerard and his safety. Frank knew there was something wrong, but what was it? What if he scared Gerard off and he hadn’t gotten the balls to tell Frank?

“Frank, I’m sure he is fine.” Jamia grabbed Frank’s hand and led him into his bedroom. “Now, get your ass dressed before we’re both late. Okay?”

Frank scowled. “Fine, but after work I am going to Gerard’s if he’s not at work.”

  


As expected, Gerard wasn’t there when Frank had showed up and Frank had looked at the calender to see if Gerard was even supposed to be working—he was. Where the fuck was Gerard? Frank kept thinking that question the entire time he was working. Any time someone would walk into the coffee shop, he would look up and get sad when he realized it wasn’t Gerard. Frank was torturing himself by thinking about Gerard so much while he had a job to do.

While thinking about Gerard, he had spilled a man’s entire drink all over the floor and he had to clean it up, and apologize to the man that was now running late. Supposedly, he had put too much milk into a girl’s coffee, making her throw a fit—no, a tantrum. The latte wasn’t right. Nothing was right. Frank would’ve cried because of all the stress that was weighing him down if it hadn’t been close to him ending his shift. He kept counting down the minutes until he left—calming himself down when another customer spout insults or rejected the coffee and wanting their money back.

“I’m going to Gerard’s now,” Frank said to Jamia. “I think I’m going to walk. I’ll text you, okay?”

“Okay. Be careful,” Jamia said.

XXX

Frank felt something in the pit of his stomach that wasn’t right, he didn’t know what exactly...he just knew something wasn’t right. Why wasn’t Gerard texting him? Even if it was a simple ‘hi’, Frank would be okay—knowing he was okay. Frank felt chills course through his body as he let his mind wonder. The more he kept thinking about all the bad things made him want to cry because—if he was being honest—he could feel himself falling in love with Gerard after all these short months. It has been three months or more since he and Gerard actually got to know each other, needing each other and ones company. The simple things they’d do for each other was enough to make them fall for each other, but was it too soon? Was Frank’s love a platonic kind of love? They were boyfriends—beyond friends. Frank would feel his stomach twist and turn when he felt the presences of Gerard or his voice, or if he really got to thinking about him. There was something, he knew it that much, but was it love? What was this feeling that got him worried sick when Gerard hadn’t shown up or texted or called anyone? Or was it Frank being a nosy fuck and worrying himself sick because he was obsessed with Gerard? Frank sighed and shook his head as he walked up to Gerard’s house.

Frank didn’t really notice that he was getting close to Gerard’s house but his thoughts and worries left him blindsided until he realized he was knocking on Gerard’s door. There were some movement Frank could tell, but there was also another voice. Was Gerard cheating on him already? It couldn’t be that, could it?

The door opened slightly so only Frank could see Gerard’s head. “You need to leave, Frank,” Gerard said, there was pain in his eyes and his eyes were rimmed with red, and it looked like he hadn’t gotten any sleep for days. “But, Gerard—” Frank tried but Gerard interrupted him, a scowl on his face. “Leave, Frank. I don’t want you here!” he shouted. “Just fucking leave.”

Frank felt himself start to shake and he felt the tears well in his eyes as Gerard told him that he didn’t want him here. Frank wasn’t going to get on his knees and bow down to Gerard—he wasn’t like that anymore. He was his own person and he wasn’t going to listen to anyone if he didn’t have to. Fuck all the words spout Gerard was spouting as Frank tried pushing his way inside. Frank wasn’t the strongest person in the world, nor did he have a lot of body weight on him—he was short and thin, and there was nothing else left of him, but somehow he managed to make his way inside, falling on his ass as he did.

Everything went quiet as he pulled himself up and that’s when he noticed two men with masks over their face, holding Gerard and pointing a gun to his head. When Frank had pulled himself up, another man grabbed him by the neck and pointed his gun as well. Frank froze and he didn’t even breath in worries of making the man furious—he knew what he had to do when it came to this situation. Frank really should have gone home and done something force himself into Gerard’s home. He knew there was something wrong—why didn’t he just call the police? Why did he have to get himself into this situation. Nothing came out good in these situations when it involved guns. He knew that.

Master had tried pointing and threatening Frank when Frank refused to have sex with him, tried running away—Frank knew the cold feeling of the gun pressed to his head. He was supposed to submit and let the person have him in anyway they deemed fit. Frank swallowed the lump in his throat as he tried controlling the shakes that overwhelmed his body. Frank had looked at Gerard whose eyes were wider than saucers as he looked back at Frank, neither one of them tried anything in the fear of the men shooting. What had Gerard done to deserve _this_? What had _Frank_ done? Life was good!

“Looks like we have another toy to play with,” the man who was holding Frank said, slightly tightening his grip on Frank. “What is he to you?” he said to Gerard. “Is he yours? Are you a faggot, huh?”

When Gerard didn’t answer, his gunman shook him. “Answer him, fag,” he seethed.

“Is he your boyfriend?” Frank’s gunman asked again.

“Y-yes, Sir,” Gerard said, his breath shaky as he looked at Frank, pleading for Frank to help him, but there was no way Frank could with his own gunman.

“Do you love him?”

“Yes, Sir,” Gerard was able to say without stuttering but he still shook horribly as he wanted to save Frank or vice versa.

“So you are a fag—Looks like we have something to taunt him, now don’t we?” Frank’s gunman said, dropping his gun but pulling Frank towards a chair to tie him to. Frank definitely knew where this was going, or what he assumed—one of them weren’t going to make it out alive, he knew that. Maybe one of them were going to be forced to do something sexual, or something they truly didn’t want to because they now knew they were boyfriends.

“I’ll do anything—” Gerard was about to say but he was cut off with a sharp slap to the face and the gun dug more into his head, threatening if he said any other word without being talk to. Gerard looked at Frank again, apologizing non verbally.

“Now that we have your little plaything, what should we ever do to you?” gunman one said, the one who tied Frank down. “He seems to care way too much about you, now doesn’t he? We destroyed your phone. There was noway for him to know how bad you had it right now. Right, Gee?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Good. Now, we will...play a little game, you see?” Frank’s gunman said, swinging his gun on his finger, taunting them both—even one word or movement that would trigger him, he wouldn’t hesitate to shoot. There were no empty threats with either gunmen. Right now, their goal was to try and get out both alive. “Do you think that’s a good idea, Gee? Do you think you could listen to us?”

“Yes.” Gerard nodded, his eyes locked with the man to show that he had no tricks up his sleeves and that he wasn’t going to try to run out the door. “I will do whatever you say, Sir.”

“Good.” The man nodded, clicking his tongue as he thought of all the “games” he could play with both Frank and Gerard. They both knew the “games” would hurt one or both, and they couldn’t apologize right now either. There was no way to say sorry right now—even if one hurt the other in many traumatic ways.

“You said his name is Frank, right?” The gun man walked up to Frank, lifting his chin to make their eyes lock. Frank nodded his head, he wasn’t going to try anything because it would lead to no good at all. “Well, Frankie, you’re in for a real treat, you know that?”

“Yes, Sir,” Frank said, speaking slowly as he submitted himself to the man. “I will do as you please.”

“You’re easy—I’m so glad I don’t have to force you or put a gun to your head. Do you not have any fight left in you?” he tsk’d and shook his head, but he was pleased that one of the victims were easy to control. “You know what happens when you’re forced to do something you don’t want to do, right, Frankie?”

“Yes.” Frank nodded, his eyes locked to show that he was listening and taking in all the words.

“Now that there’s no fight in you, what shall I ever do?”

“Whatever you please.”

“You see here, Gee, your little fucktoy just bowed down to me. Why can’t you do the same? It’ll make everything so easy here,” gunman said. “He’s very submissive. I can tell, can’t you?” he spoke to Gerard’s gunman. “Any ideas on what we should do?” now, he spoke to both Gerard and Frank. Gerard shook his head, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. “Aww, c’mon. We’re going to have _so_ much fun. Don’t make me choose.”

Still there was no answer. “Alright. Guess it’s my choice, now.” Gerard’s gunman pushed him down onto the couch, and went to go untie Frank with the threat of the gun. Frank obeyed and carefully sat down on the couch beside Gerard, but they didn’t dare reach for each other. They knew the unspoken rule of moving without being told to.

“Now, me and my friend have always wanted to play this game with our unwilling victims. It gets them to shut the fuck up and remember us,” Frank’s gunman said. “However, since our little Frankie has been good we’ll take it easy on each other, but Gerard—you’ve disobeyed a little with us, haven’t you?”

“Yes.” Gerard nodded, not risking on smart mouthing ever again. The first day they had broke their way into his house he had fought with them until the guns were pulled out. He wasn’t allowed sleep or food, only drinks and bathroom breaks.

“Good boy.” Frank’s gunman petted both of their heads, turning Frank’s eyes towards him to know that he was drinking in all the words he was feeding to Gerard. Gerard’s gunman was quiet, not wanting to say anything that might contradict the other. Maybe it was better to stay quiet until spoken to, Gerard thought. Frank knew that rule, though—for many, many years he had the rule engraved into him. It took so many beatings for him to listen to that rule—he wasn’t allowed asking questions unless it was about dinner or what Master wanted when he was filling ill. Frank knew that he had to please a Master, and that’s what happened when he stepped into this house. It was a fight or flight situation but Frank’s body chose to submit rather than do any of those choices.

It didn’t really occur to Frank when he heard clothes being unzipped from the gunmen. The sound so far away and he hardly felt the hand on his cheek as he was forced to look at the man’s length. He knew what to do—he knew that he should not fight as he stared at the man who was stroking himself into hardness before shoving himself into Frank’s mouth. There was no demand that he had to listen, because right now, that wasn’t his place. He knew he needed to bow down and listen to whatever he was told to do.

“Fuck, Gee,” Frank’s gunman said, petting Frank’s hair and pushing Frank a little deeper. “You ever get your cock sucked by him? His mouth is fucking sinful.” he moaned and kept pushing Frank further onto his cock until Frank gagged but didn’t pull off or protest, he just took it. “You’re doing so good, Frankie. You’re a good boy, you know that?”

Frank looked up at the man who was talking to him and hummed his answer without pulling off—it was something Master had taught him to do. When a cock was in his mouth, you don’t pull off until you were pulled off. You don’t pull off to say your answer—you hum. That’s it. You do not bite, either. You would get severely punished, and you always, always make eye contact when talked to. It’s what happens when you go into submission. Don’t fight it.

“C’mon, you can go deeper—c’mon, Frankie.” The gunman pushed Frank until he was nose-deep until his pubes, making Frank gag one more time before he swallowed around him. In the distance, he could hear Gerard calling his name and refusing his attacker—saying that he was not his to be used. But Frank wasn’t going to plead with Gerard to listen to his attacker to just say take it without thinking about it.

“Aww, poor little Gee is crying,” Gerard’s attacker said. “How about we make a deal, huh?” Gerard looked up, noticing the smirk on his face. “Instead of sucking my cock because I’m not a fag, you suck your boyfriend’s? Hmm, do you like that?”

“I don’t want to hurt Frank!” Gerard cried.

“Do you want shot?”

“No.” Gerard went quiet besides his sobs but he tried controlling them in hopes that his attacker would take mercy on him.

“So, you’ll do as I tell you?”

“Yes.”

“Good. As soon as my partner is done with your boy, you will suck Frankie off even if he cries and tells you not to. Got it?” Gerard’s attacker said, smacking his cheek slightly.

“Baby, I’m _close_ —keep sucking just like that, okay? Fuck,” Frank’s attacker said, moaning louder than before—probably to taunt Gerard with what Frank was doing. “Swirl your tongue—there you go, yes. Just like that. You’re so good.” Frank’s attacker made him go all the way back to his pubes again, staying there for a little longer than before to make Frank’s eyes water.

It was a little longer before he had pulled Frank off of him, coming all over Frank’s face. It had even gotten all over Frank’s lips and even in his hair, Frank could feel the sticky but he knew better than to complain about it. He’d get cleaned up eventually, right?

“What do you say, Baby?” Frank’s attacker said, pulling his pants away and tucking himself back in his pants.

“Thank you,” he said, his voice wrecked and his throat was sore from the abuse. “I deserved the punishment, Sir.”

“Yes, yes you did—but it’s not over just yet, got it?”

“Yes.”

Gerard was pushed over to Frank, making the shoulders touch as his attacker was going to order him to do something more than touch Frank. “I want you to kiss him. Get all the come off of him,” demanded, pushing Gerard one more time.

Gerard turned Frank’s face, looking at each other and before they could say anything Gerard pressed their lips together like the last time they were together. Despite the other man’s seed in Frank’s mouth and around his face, Gerard felt comfort in kissing Frank and the feeling of his tongue wrapped around the others. He felt as if he and Frank were the only ones in the house, but he knew that he wasn’t. This was entertainment to the men that were standing behind them.

“Touch him as you kiss him, Gerard,” they both demanded.

Gerard kept kissing Frank deeply, pushing him back so he was resting on the arm rest and getting between Frank’s legs as he slowly ran his hands over Frank’s chest, tweaking his nipples through the shirt and he heard Frank moan into his mouth—Gerard wished this wasn’t how he first touched Frank. He wanted their moment to be special, this definitely was not special and he knew as soon as Frank hit reality that he would realize how awful this situation was.

Gerard reached between Frank’s spread legs as their mouths were connected but briefly pulled away to breath before connecting their lips again. Gerard started to rub Frank through his pants, getting more moans and a roll of his hips against his hand, and he knew that Frank wasn’t fully aware of what was happening—all his body knew was pleasure. Gerard felt like _shit_ as he unzipped Frank’s pants and pulled away from Frank’s swollen lips to kiss down his neck, pulling up his shirt to draw more time before he violated Frank even further.

The shirt was off and Gerard swirled his tongue around his nipples, and his free hand tweaked the other. Frank let out a shaky moan, looking down at Gerard with a glazed look, and threw his head back as he felt Gerard’s tongue slowly lick his way down to the waistband of Frank’s pants, slowly pulling them off. Gerard knew if this was consensual, he would ask Frank if every new action he did was okay despite the moans he let out. But this wasn’t. He was _molesting_ Frank. The man he adored. The man he fucking loved. He was betraying his trust because he was fucking forced to by some sickos.

XXX

Frank looked down again, a confused look as Gerard hesitated before pulling his pants and boxers down. Once the boxers were down and there was skin to skin contact, he broke out of that submission and daze, and he felt disgusted with himself an Gerard—why was Gerard doing this? Then it all hit him—he was being forced to as he looked at the two men with sick grins on their face, one of them were stroking themselves. The one who already abused Frank’s mouth. Frank brought his hands to his mouth, a shaking hand touched them, and then he looked down at Gerard again.

“No,” Frank said, a risk he was willing to take to make Gerard stop, but Gerard didn’t stop—he didn’t even look up at Frank as he put Frank into his mouth. As much as the pleasure was good, he didn’t want this, not even when Gerard was doing this. He felt like his entire world was collapsing around him as the man he loved put his mouth on Frank.

“Gerard, no—!” Frank cut himself off when he moaned involuntary as his body was betraying him. Frank felt himself start to cry, not wanting to feel this or look at Gerard while his mouth was working on him. He felt Gerard touch his balls, and licked his way down to put one in his mouth, and then the other.

“Put a finger in,” one of the men said—demanded as he kept stroking himself.

Frank felt shaking and tensing when Gerard pulled off to soak his fingers in saliva, then put his mouth back on Frank’s length before pushing a finger into him. Frank gasped but it wasn’t in pleasure, it was in betrayal—he was hurt, physically and mentally. He knew this wasn’t Gerard’s fault because the attackers were telling him to. But it still hurt knowing it was Gerard.

When he felt two fingers inside, rubbing him raw and making him more traumatized even though he was getting close to his orgasm that he did not want. Gerard has now seen him in such a vulnerable—yet forced—state, he has seen all the scars and things that happen when he’s put into sub-space. He had never wanted to Gerard all of this, and Gerard has seen all the scars on his thighs and groin, and stomach. They were littered everywhere on Frank’s body.

As soon as Frank hit his orgasm, his spot being touched so much that he was practically forced to come, and he started sobbing as he felt his come splattering over his stomach. He felt so violated and angry towards Gerard, but he knew it wasn’t Gerard’s fault that he had to do that. In the distance, he heard his attacker groan and he knew that he had hit his own release, but they were not done with these games.

Before their attackers could say anything, there was a sharp knock on the door. “New Jersey police department, open up,” a police officer with a deep voice said.

Frank tried getting up to put clothes on but he didn’t have the willpower to move from the spot and neither did Gerard. The attackers now had their guns pointed at both Frank and Gerard, warning them that they were going to shoot them even if they made the slightest movement.

“Sir, if you do not open up, we will open this door ourselves.” There were more knocks on the door before more banging happened, forcing the door open and having the police officers look at all four men with alarm.

Frank stopped his crying, curling himself into a ball to cover himself from the new people in the room. The police officer called for a bus even though no one was really injured—Frank’s trust, mental ability was destroyed, but he didn’t have a scratch on him. So, why was an ambulance being called? In the next minute, the two police officers had the gunmen down on the ground as well as their weapons that skidded across the floor.

Once they had put the men into the car, the other police officer came over to Gerard and Frank as they both tried rolling him over but he was too naked and too ashamed to be seen. “Sir, can I see if you have any wounds on you?” Of course, Frank didn’t listen and only cried harder into the couch—not even Gerard’s soothing voice helped him. He hated everything—he hated Gerard. He hated himself. He felt himself going back to the moment when he said to the world, “fuck you,” and refused to get help from anyone. Was he really going to relapse from all the progress he had made from these three years? Was this the moment that made him crack? Could he even look Gerard in the eyes ever again with the same love and admiration? The comfort and the trust was forced away from Frank.

“Sir, please turn over,” the police officer said one more time.

“I’m naked,” Frank sobbed quietly. “I don’t know where my clothes are.”

“Alright.” The police stepped away to grab the shirt that was thrown onto the floor to give to Frank but noticed there was semen on it which would be used as evidence later on, and had looked at Gerard as he tried to get up to grab another shirt, but just before he could help Frank get another shirt the EMTs arrived.

“Sir, the EMTs are here—I will grab you a jacket. Will you let your friend help you put your pants on?”

“No!” Frank shouted, kicking Gerard away from him. “Fuck you,” he seethed to Gerard, looking him dead into his eyes.

“Alright, Sir, can you come with us? I will put you in the other cop car or if your friend says it’s okay, you can ride in the ambulance with us. Are you hurt? If so, I will put you in the other,” he said to Gerard.

“I don’t think he wants me near him right now,” Gerard muttered. “It’s up to you where you want me.”

The officer sighed. “Alright—you go into the other ambulance. I will get clothes for him, so just go.” the police officer put a hand on Frank before leaving to get a jacket and blanket to cover himself from everyone else and helped him into the ambulance despite his protests.

XXX

Frank had to be put to sleep as he would not stay still in the ambulance as he spewed out curses and insults when they had tried examining him for wounds—Frank had kicked one of them in the chest as they tried pulling the blanket away from his naked body as he wasn’t allowed having any of his clothes because they were “evidence” that they would later examine.

Frank was _pissed_ when he had woken up from his drug-induced sleep hours later. He noticed that he was stripped when he felt a hospital gown and a thin blanket that only barely covered him, and the bright lights hurt his eyes, and the coldness that made his skin prickle. He was so fucking pissed at the doctors, at Gerard, and the police. Everything living pissed him off. Who called the police? Probably fucking Jamia—he probably shouldn’t be pissed at her because she saved his life but she wasn’t at Gerard’s house and she didn’t ride with him to the hospital. So where the fuck was she? Did she leave him when she noticed that he was a fucking filthy slut like he was always called?

Fuck her too.

Before Frank could list even more people in his “Pissed off List” a nurse came in, pulling back the curtain and checking his chart. She was short, thin, and blonde—she was pretty but that was not what Frank was really focusing on right now either. He was focusing on how to escape this fucking place but he knew he couldn’t because he felt all the wires on his chest and a heart monitor clip on his fucking finger.

“Hi, Mr. Iero, I’m your nurse for the night,” she said, looking at his chart one more time. “I’m Emily.” Her voice was nasally, which should have been annoying but it was comforting for a weird reason. “I’m just here to check your stats, okay?”

“Okay.” Frank nodded, looking at all of her movements.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, obviously trying to make conversation but Frank honestly didn’t feel like it, but he didn’t want to be rude to the only person who was nice to him right now.

“Thirsty,” he said. “Pissed.”

“Why are you pissed, Frank?” she asked.

“Because,” was all he said and she knew that she shouldn’t pry anymore.

“Alright, I will get you some ice water in a jiffy—anything else?”

“No.”

With that, she left to go fulfill his request and it almost soothed him from being pissed off at everyone around him besides the people from the few hours ago. Frank sighed, trying to get comfortable in the bed and reaching for the remote but ended up hitting the nurses’ button, and a nurse rushed inside—it wasn’t Emily this time. It was some old, plump lady who looked tired and annoyed.

“Sorry,” he said. “It was an accident.” She ignored him and left the room, and it had been a few minutes before another person walked in that wasn’t Emily. It was the doctor. Fuck.

“Hey there, Frank,” he said, trying to be the “nice, friendly doctor” but that was a facade—everyone knew that. “I’m Doctor Thomas. How are you?”

“Fine,” he spat, wanting the doctor to go away and wanting Emily to come back with his ice water.

“I would like to talk about your condition.” Doctor-Friendly said, looking at Frank’s charts and stats like Emily did.

“No.”

“Why, Frank?” he asked, a voice that obviously said ‘let’s pity the victim into telling his feelings’ but Frank was not going to fucking bow down this time—he was not going to let his guard down. Not this time. Not anytime.

“Because I don’t fucking want to,” Frank said, there was anger in his eyes. “I just want Nurse Emily to bring me my fucking ice water.”

“It’s okay, Frankie,” he tried patting his back but Frank pushing the hand away.

“Do not call me that.” Frank looked like he wanted to fucking kill this doctor. It was just about time when Emily walked in with a huge jug of ice water.

“Sorry! Whoa, it’s a busy night so I got this for you,” she said, handing it to Frank. “Oh! Hi, Doctor Thomas.”

“Hi, Emily.” They exchanged greetings before Emily had to leave—leaving Doctor Thomas and Frank alone in the cold room. “Alright, Frank—I understand that you’re mad, but I am here to talk and listen. You had been through something traumatic.”

Frank spat his water on the Doctor’s coat, not caring if that was a childish act—he just wanted to be left the fuck alone. “Go,” Frank seethed. “I don’t want you here!”

“Do you want visitors?”

“Who the fuck wants to visit me? If it’s Gerard, so help me God—”

“No, Mr. Way is not here.” Doctor Thomas cleared his throat before speaking again. “Miss. Nestor would like to visit you.”

Frank rolled his eyes. “Fine,” he said, hoping the doctor would now leave.

Doctor Thomas did leave, though, and Emily had walked with Jamia to Frank’s room. Jamia looked so drained, her face was really pale as she walked closer to Frank. There was so much guilt and relief on her face as she stared at him—not knowing what to do or say.

“You called, didn’t you?” Frank asked, there wasn’t any emotion in his voice at all.

“Yes,” she said, her voice cracking. Frank noted the redness on her cheeks that were from tears, and that was the first time he had ever show the emotion of sadness and openly cried in front of him. Frank wanted to hug her but that would mean he had to let his guard down and let people in, but he couldn’t. Not this time. Maybe not ever.

Frank nodded. “Are you mad at me?” she asked, trying to get his attention when he looked away from her to stare at the wall. “Frank, are you?”

There wasn’t any answer from him, and it crushed both of their hearts. Jamia was his best friend, so why was he doing this to her? She protected him. Why was Frank acting like she betrayed him? Why couldn’t he let her in? She was the only one who knew his secret in the first place...Frank could hear her crying as he kept ignoring her.

“I’m so sorry,” she sobbed, her hands covering her face and her body was visibly shaking. “I’m so sorry, Frank. I wish I could’ve helped you more. I wish I was there to stop _all_ of this mess!”

“Well, you weren’t,” he said, no emotion in his voice as he continued to stare at the white walls.

“What can I do?” she asked, daring to grab Frank’s hands but only to have Frank’s hands yanked away—causing the heart monitor clip to fall off of his finger, sending the machines into a loud fit.

The nurses came in and looked at Frank who scowled at all of them besides Emily, the pushed Jamia out of the way to put it back on and then left. Once they had all left, Jamia sat beside Frank again, still trying to get his attention.

“Frank, please tell me what I can do to help you!” she continued to sob—only to piss Frank off even more.

“If you ask me _one more_ time, I will tell you to get the fuck out, Jamia,” he spat, looking directly at her. “Don’t even try me.”

Jamia took a shaky breath in. “Maybe I should go.”

“Maybe you should,” Frank retorted.

Once she had gathered her self and left, it only made Frank realize how lonely he truly was. Emily couldn’t even fill the emptiness in his heart as he pushed everyone away, and it was only worse because he needed Jamia and Gerard, so why was he being so mean? He didn’t want to be mean because that would mean he would be alone, but he didn’t want to get hurt again. How could he face Gerard again? Why wasn’t Gerard waiting to see Frank? That’s when he started sobbing hard when he realized that Jamia wasn’t coming back and neither was Gerard.

He was fucking alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments?


	10. I Don't Want to Say Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woo! i'm finally home and I've spent four hours on this update (i kept getting distracted) and i really hope you enjoy this chapter. i have no idea what happens when you give a statement except what happens on crime shows like law&order, but other than that i have no idea.  
> my birthday is tomorrow! im the big 18, wooooooooooo.  
> also who the fuck has read the dove keeper? that story is pissig me off so fuckin' much. im almost finished with it. im in april and its like chapter 3

It had been a week since _it_ happened and Frank couldn’t force himself to do anything besides lay on his bed or the couch as he stared into space. Unfortunately, he still stayed at Jamia’s house despite the awkwardness of the two from the previous time they had seen each other, and since then—besides when Frank had to be picked up—they had not talked, at all. Frank could feel himself falling into a very bad depression, and he refused to talk or get help this time—it was futile anyway. Why let someone into your life if they’re only going to fuck it up again? Frank tried for three goddamn years to get over what had happened to him (well, sorta over it), and Gerard had came into his life, showing him all the small pleasures of life and made him fall in love with the black haired beauty, to only be fucked over by one of the people he put his life and trust into.

God, he hated _himself_. He hated _Gerard_. There was nothing anyone could do to dissipate that anger that was fueling inside of himself, and it only made him angrier that his body wouldn’t let him doing anything besides sleep, possibly a shower, and staring into space. He really hadn’t eaten a lot, or drank a lot either, and when it did, he felt disgusted. It made him sick, and sometimes he would wind up puking it all up. Frank could tell that he had lost weight in only a small week, and that made him more depressed. He was already small to begin with. Before all of this had happened, Frank was small—there was a very small pouch of stomach, but it was hardly there unless he was sitting down. When he had met Gerard, he barely gained weight, maybe a few pounds or so, but nothing major. Now that _it_ happened, he could feel himself getting smaller.

Frank honestly didn’t know what to do with himself anymore. He refused to answer phone calls or texts, and he refused to answer any doors—he didn’t even go outside. Jamia had to be the one to tell their boss that Frank had gone through some issues recently that prevented him going into work. Their boss had understood as Jamia had to tell them exactly what had happened, but Frank only had two weeks left on his paid leave. How could he get up to go? He couldn’t even dress or shower, or even feed himself.

When Frank had first came home, he had gone straight to his room and changed from the shitty hospital pajamas but his reflection came from the mirror as he was changing. It was all the scars that were already there, but he could mentally see all the mental scars on his tiny body, and he felt so disgusted by himself. He had looked at his mouth, remembering what had been in there when he had submitted to that man, and when he had felt Gerard’s chapped lips. Frank let out a shaky sigh as he kept looking down at himself, and then he looked down at his penis. He couldn’t believe what Gerard had done to him and how he violated Frank physically and mentally, and he was supposed to be the one he trusted. Part of himself, he knew it wasn’t Gerard’s fault, but he couldn’t stop thinking of Gerard and how he had hurt him. Couldn’t he had put on _some_ kind of fight? What if he had made a deal with their attackers? What if this was all a plan? Frank kept thinking of all the possibilities and even the extremities.

That day he had broke down, so inconsolable, and so destroyed as he got dressed and screamed into his pillow until his voice was gone and fell asleep. There truly was nothing anyone could do to help him, and he knew that no one would as he had pushed the two most important people away from him. He had not yet seen Gerard in person as there was an investigation that he did not agree to but was forced to make his statement. They had done a rape kit when he had arrived to the hospital, but he was asleep, and that was another reason why he felt so violated by everyone, and that was a reason he had pushed those very few people away.

When Jamia had picked him up when he was released, she was waiting in the car for him and he was not pleased, but what did he expect? Mommy and Daddy waiting in their car? Pft, no. It just goes to show that he was a worthless little whore like Master always said. He was raised to do one thing and one thing only: sex. Jamia tried starting a conversation the way home, but Frank only hummed, sighed, or said a quick “okay”, and that was their conversation until they arrived home. It was then when the door was unlocked that he rushed to the bedroom—refusing to come out for days.

Frank showered once and that shower included vigorous scrubbing, and extremely hot water that had left his skin raw and red. He knew that this dirty feeling wouldn’t go away unless he got help, but what good would it do? People are only gonna fuck it up once again, and, possibly, leave him feeling like this all over again. This feeling did not feel good—it made him suicidal all over again, and he hated _every fucking bit_ of it. He was driving himself mad. But who is to blame with all of this? Him? Gerard? All of this thinking only made him scrub even harder, and that went on until the water had gone cold. He didn’t want to feel the coldness. He already felt that. He wanted to feel the pain as he tried to get rid of the dirtiness that had been collected right back to him.

Frank had been looking at the wall as he took up all the space on the couch, not wanting anyone to sit beside him. The TV was on but he wasn’t watching it, he was too lost into his own thoughts and the wall that he realized was chipping from Jamia’s shitty apartment. The off-white was old and he was noticing all the flaws that were surrounded him. The picture frames of Jamia’s family was on the other side of the wall but it was crooked, and he knew it was going to fall off some day and shatter.

“Alright. Get up,” a voice broke him out of his thoughts on the flaws of this apartment. Frank looked at the person who was talking. Jamia. “Frank, get the fuck up.” Frank shook his head and tried to get back into his thoughts until he felt Jamia forcing his legs onto the floor.

“Fuck off!” he shouted, sending her a death glare, and he wanted to see her hurt—to feel the pain that he felt, but she would never feel that way. She would never know what the dirtiness felt like or the depression that made his body not do anything besides sleep or stare.

“Frank, I’m sick of seeing you just lying there.” Jamia sat down before Frank could put his feet back onto the couch. “You need to get a shower. You _need_ to go to that investigation before you drive me fuckin’ crazy.”

“No.” Frank looked at her and he flaws. Jamia had bags under her eyes, she had many freckles that were on her face, and her hair was frizzy. She had few flaws and that made Frank jealous—he had lots of flaws. No one would ever see him again.

“You can’t sit here all the time,” she said in a softer voice. “Frank, I understand that you’re depressed and that you’re angry with everyone, but you can’t do this to yourself.” Frank noticed that her voice cracked when she kept talking about how depressed he was becoming. “Frank, you’re my best friend, and I hate seeing you like this. I know what had happened was horrible, but you’re refusing help from anyone that is offering...”

“So?” Frank didn’t understand why she had to put her nose into his business. He just wanted to be left alone. If he was left alone, no one could hurt him or his trust again...why didn’t anyone not understand that?

“Frank, your therapist keeps calling the house phone to ask why you have been missing appointments, and I have no idea what to tell her. The police call to confirm when you’re supposed to come in, and I can’t keep doing this, either. I can’t baby you, Frank, and I have no idea what the fuck to do.” Jamia ran her fingers through her hair, getting it out of her face as she kept herself composed to prevent from crying. “You need help. You need to put your attackers away.”

“You want me to put Gerard away, huh?” Frank spat, there was venom in his voice as he was only getting angrier the more Jamia talked. “Do you want him to have a record?”

“Do _you_?” she asked. “Do you want the only good people in your life to be pushed away and have you be alone when you need us the most?”

“You don’t know what happened!” he screamed, his breathing became erratic as he forced himself not to cry. “You have no fucking idea what had happened to me, Jamia. You have no idea what had happened behind that door and how Gerard betrayed me!”

“Yes, I do,” she said, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. “I know exactly what happened. Gerard told me.”

“Great.” Frank huffed a breath. “Now, when did he tell you this?”

“The night after I left the hospital,” she told him, her hands clasped together. Frank could see how hurt and upset she truly was but if she hadn’t talked to him, then they wouldn’t be in this mess. Frank wished he could’ve gone back to when Master said he was going to kill him, put him out of his misery like a dog. Master never made empty threats to scare him, ever. Frank really should’ve stayed where he was told to be...why didn’t he listen?

“Gerard and I talked as he was clearly upset, and he debated whether or not to go inside,” she said, trying to get Frank to look at her but to no avail. “I told him no, to just leave you alone.”

“Smart,” Frank mumbled, less hostile. “I don’t want to see him.”

“He wants to see you.”

“I know, but now we can’t since I have to give my statement and answer questions, thanks to him for wanting to press charges.” Frank sighed, irritated, and dug his palms to rub his eyes. “It’s today, isn’t it?”

“Yes.” Jamia got up and helped Frank up off the couch. “Go shower, you smell horrible.”

XXX

As soon as he was inside, they put him in a room with two officers that were going to question him about the “incident” as they called it. They wanted to see who the true victim was, and who was not, so they could put the right people away. Deep inside, Frank knew Gerard was the victim too, so he wouldn’t have Gerard put up—it wasn’t fair, and it would be something horrible. Horrible things happen in prison. Why would he ever let that happened to the only other person to give a shit about him?

“Hello, I’m Nancy and this is Oliver,” the female officer said, pulling a seat out for Frank and sitting in front of her, and beside her was the male officer from the night. “How are you today, Frank?”

Frank shrugged. “I’m fine,” he lied. He really wasn’t fine. He was disgusting, but was that an emotion? He didn’t know. He just wanted to sleep the days away, and he was depressed.

“We’re going to ask you a few questions, and we want you to be honest with us.” Nancy looked at Frank as he nodded slowly. “Alright, good.”

“So, we are aware that you and Gerard Way were attacked, and those two attackers had guns, and forced you, Frank, to preform oral sex. Correct?” Nancy asked, her eyes looked soft, she had a gentle look to her face and it made him want to trust her.

“Yes.” Frank bit his lip and held his own hands as he had to admit everything that had happened that night.

“I want your side of the story, Frank,” she said. “Don’t hold back any details, okay?”

Frank nodded before telling her all the details even before everything that had happened—all the no-shows and being stood up by him, and no one had heard anything from Gerard for days, and how after work Frank had gone to Gerard’s house, and everything that had happened at that house that day. He told Nancy in explicit details from what had happened to him and Gerard, and how he didn’t want any of this but he was trained to do this—that slipped, which made them want to confront him after he was done talking—and he told them what Gerard had to do.

“Now, Frank, I want to ask you what you meant when you said ‘trained’,” she asked, and Frank mentally cursed himself. He knew that they would ask and he hated that he slipped up on that fact, now that they would trace him back to three years ago. He didn’t want to go back to that place.

“I was a sex-slave,” he mumbled, wanting to drop this topic. “I was part of the ring that they busted three years ago.”

Nancy looked at her partner, a confused look on he face. “Your name never came up,” she accused.

“I know.” Frank sighed, looking back down at this lap. “I escaped before he could kill me.” Frank heard Nancy sigh, but it was a relieved sigh...she was also writing things down to use later.

“Alright. Why didn’t you ever come forth?”

“Why do I have to talk about this? This isn’t what I’m supposed to be questioned for,” Frank stated, really not wanting to relive his past. That had been bad and he was so glad he had escaped before it was busted so that he could avoid the press and all these questions.

“You’re right, but we’re just trying to get some kind of insight,” Nancy told him, putting the pen back down. “Anyway, let’s go back to Mr. Way and your attackers.”

With no answer, Nancy kept going. “You had said that when you entered Mr. Way’s home, the other gunman had held you with a gun behind your head, and then tied you to a chair. Yes?”

“Yeah.”

Nancy made a humming noise before speaking. “Did they ever show their faces? The gunmen?”

“No.”

“Was their body entirely covered?”

“Yes. Why are you asking me this? You guys put them in a car the night that it happened! You guys know who they are. Why would I know what they look like?” Frank asked, clearly getting distressed with all of these questions. “The only information I have of them is the semen that was in my mouth and on my clothes. The rape kit got all of that, though. I don’t even know their names!”

“You’re right,” Oliver said. “We collected all of the evidence and now your statement—it’s strong enough to make a case.”

“I have a question,” Frank said, biting his lip when he kept thinking more and more about what he was about to say.

“Can I see Gerard?” he asked.

It was a few quiet seconds before they responded, still looking at each other. “Yes, Mr. Way has been cleared,” Oliver said before letting Frank out of the investigation room.

XXX

Frank didn’t want to bother Jamia by calling her but he didn’t know how to get to Gerard’s from where he was at, and he didn’t feel like getting lost right now. He was too tired, too nervous, and too weak to really think about which way to go. So, he waited until he had found Jamia’s car, and got inside. Frank didn’t speak to her, not because he was mad, he was just tired and nervous. She knew where he wanted to go since he had spoken it over the phone, but didn’t show any emotion to Frank so that didn’t sway his decision.

When Frank had pulled up to Gerard’s place, his heart was beating thousands miles a minute and he wanted to just go home—to forget about Gerard and quit his job, move out of Jamia’s, and start fresh. He didn’t want to be reminded of what had happened in Gerard’s house, he wanted to hide from the dangers of this world. He was still mad at Gerard’s actions, but he missed Gerard’s being when he felt the “fuck you” attitude (which he still does) but he didn’t know why he now wanted to see Gerard. Frank wondered if they could just go to a coffee house instead of being at his house, but did Gerard have a phone? Or was it still broken?

“Jamia?” Frank asked in a shaky voice, still looking at the house.

“Yes?” she said, turning the car off to get his full attention.

“Do...do you think you could go knock on his door and take us to a coffee house instead?” Frank looked at her, his lip between his teeth and tears rimmed his eyes as he tried to keep from crying. “Please? I’m too scared to go in there right now. Please, Jamia?”

“I will, it’s okay,” Jamia reassured him, rubbing his shoulder before getting out of the car.

Frank looked at her the entire time, waiting for something bad to happen, but he knew there wouldn’t be, but there was always that if—like last time. How was he supposed to know someone was going to happen when he had gone to Gerard’s house? How? What if something was in Gerard’s house as they waited for him again, or for someone else? Someone with more fight inside rather than submission? Frank knew that Jamia wasn’t afraid to back down when it came to fighting, he knew that. Frank would just bow down and wait for what ever happened. He couldn’t help it, and he didn’t know what else to do...was he always going to be like this? He surely hoped not…

It surprised him when he caught a small glimpse of Gerard. Gerard’s hair was a mess, it was greasy, and he also looked so rundown, but then they both walked inside the house. Frank waited at least ten minutes before they both walked outside again, and Gerard’s head hung low as they walked to the car. Frank felt his heart get even faster, and at this moment, he regretted even coming here. Why did he have to come here? Why couldn’t he just go home and sleep the weeks away?

When Frank heard the door open, he stopped breathing and looked ahead, not meeting anyone’s eyes. Frank closed his eyes until they had gotten to the coffee shop Gerard had told Jamia about and gave her directions as they drove, and in his voice, Frank could tell how sad Gerard was. When they had first met, his voice was so confident and so out there...now he looked depressed and sounded just like it. Frank could tell that he felt bad about what had happened, and Frank felt guilty on how he treated Gerard.

When they arrived, Jamia and Frank locked eyes and Frank shook his head, as Gerard and Frank got out. Frank kept a small distance from Gerard, still not looking at him. When they had walked in, they sat at their usual spot and Frank waited as Gerard got them coffee. Those few minutes while Gerard was in line, Frank tried putting his thoughts in order but he couldn’t. They were a mess that couldn’t be cleaned up anytime soon.

Gerard came back, handed Frank his and sat down. They looked at each other awkwardly, neither one knowing what exactly to say. Should they say sorry? That they didn’t mean for it to happen? It really wasn’t anyone’s fault except for their attackers, now wasn’t it? Frank missed Gerard despite his attitude and he could clearly see that Gerard had missed him as well.

Luckily, Gerard was the first one to talk. “I’m sorry, Frank,” he muttered, he didn’t know what else do to. “I wish I could make it all better. I know I ruined everything—I should have put more fight into that instead of molesting you. I wish it hadn’t been like that.”

“It’s—” It’s what? It’s okay? Because no, it wasn’t okay. They both knew that.

“No,” Gerard said sternly. “It’s not okay for me to do that to you. I ruined our relationship because of what I had done to you, and I’m really fuckin’ sorry, Frank.” Frank could tell that Gerard’s voice was strained because he didn’t want to cry in public, and he didn’t want to be weak. “I don’t know what to make it better and that is what really hurts the most. I know I was your blanket and now, I can see how fucking scared you are being around me right now—I seen you in the car, you weren’t breathing right, and I used to be able to comfort you when you were like that.”

Gerard looked at Frank before taking his hand, rubbing his thumb against Frank’s fingers. “I really want to do something to make it up to you, if that’s what you want me to do. I have missed you so fucking much that I couldn’t stand myself, Frank, and I knew it was all my fault. I really should have done something more instead of hurting you. I have been playing so many scenarios for that to be prevented.”

“What can I do?” Gerard asked after he was finished with his speech.

“I don’t know,” Frank said in honesty. “But that’s not me being mean. I understand everything that you are saying, but I’m hurt, Gerard. You seen parts of me—mentally and physically—that I wasn’t ready for you to see. I know it’s not all of your fault, but I wish you had put more of a fight but I have a feeling that if you did, one of us wouldn’t have came out of there alive.”

Gerard nodded. “I’m sorry,” he said, clearly defeated.

“I’m not saying we should break up, but maybe...we should go back to how we first were before the dates and spending the nights, or carpooling.”

“If that’s what you want, then I’ll do whatever it takes,” Gerard said, perking up a little bit. “Is...is it okay if I hold your hand?”

“Yes,” Frank said.

“I really did miss you, you know,” Gerard said.

“Me too.”


	11. Which Way Is Wrong (Which Way Is Right)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry its so short!

Frank had finally went to his therapist appointment after Jamia had forced him out of the house again. She was determined to get him back to how he was before, but he knew it’d take awhile before he was ever okay again, and he was still shaky and ify with Gerard, even after their meeting. Frank knew that Gerard and Jamia were talking at work while he wasn’t there, and that hurt his feelings, but Jamia always retold the conversations, not hiding anything. Frank was trying, he knew that, but his depression hardly let him, and he hated that.

Frank had always had depression but there were always good days, and now there all seems to be bad days since the attack. Showering and eating, and waking up seemed to be a chore, and the only thing that didn’t feel like a chore was sleeping—he welcomed it. Unfortunately, Jamia would always wake him up if he was sleeping the day away, and force him to places he _had_ to be, and that’s how he wound up here, looking at Vaun.

“It’s been awhile, Frank,” she said, trying to break away Frank from his thoughts. Frank wanted to go home, not talk about what had happened to him and why he was avoiding everyone he knew, and he didn’t want her to know how he had gone back to his old ways and attitude. He just really wanted to go home…

Ever since he had met up with Gerard that day, the nightmares and suicidal thoughts came back full force, and he knew he would never act upon those horrible thoughts but there was always that _thought_. How would anyone react if they found him lying in his room dead? _How_ would he kill himself? There were pills in Jamia’s cabinet but those were ibuprofen, cold pills, or menstrual pills. There were knives in a drawer, and he did have ties if he wanted to hang himself. But when he got too close, he would back away and go to sleep.

All the nightmares had included him and Master, or Gerard and Master as they laughed at him. Raped him. Sometimes in the nightmares, one would force their length in his mouth while they other forced their length somewhere else, and it was always the same. Gerard never saved him in his dreams, ever, and there was nothing he could do besides wake up, and then go back to another nightmare. Frank didn’t really know why he liked sleeping if it brought on nightmares, but the more he thought about it, he realized there’s more dangers in the world rather than what his imagination had created.

“Frank, are you with me right now?”

Frank looked at Dr. Vaun and sighed, finally thinking about talking to her rather being inside his nasty thoughts. “Yeah,” he said, looking at his hands and then back up to her face. Frank was getting more into pointing and thinking about others flaws, and he took a deep look into Vaun’s. Vaun was short, she had a weird nose that was bent slightly, and she had bags under her eyes. She was chubby when she sat down, only making her stomach noticeable. She was an older woman, most likely in her late thirties, and she looked worn down like she was stressed. Was he stressful? What happened at her home life? He noticed she had thick brown hair, but it looked dyed considering her roots were peaking through, and she had really blue eyes.

“Would you like to share with me what you were thinking?” she asked, changing her position in the seat and her notebook on the other side of her lap. “I noticed you seem a little...distant.”

“I guess,” he muttered, shrugging as he looked to the wall and looked at all the pictures, and the desk behind her. It was full of pictures of her family and children, he could tell, and that’s why she was so worn down. She had small children. Frank didn’t understand why people would want children. Why bring them into a world of cruelness? There were so many dangerous things that could happen to children—he should know! Master wasn’t cruel at first—never touched him when he was below age of fifteen—but he was still _Master_.

Frank knew there were some Masters who would touch kids and raise them until they got to be too “old” and got rid of them. Sometimes they’d kill them or sell them at a low price, and if someone did buy them, it only got worse from there. Sometimes, it was only fun and games, and after they took the innocents, they’d kill them even if they weren’t old. It was just how the games were. All Masters were different. Some liked girls. Some liked boys. Some liked children. Sometimes they liked all three. You just had to hold your prayers.

It was all the same, though. You weren’t bought to be taken care of, per see, but it was just sex. There were days when they gave you a break, but it was still _all_ the same. Sometimes, you never got breaks, and you got beatings nonstop, and no amount of screaming or pleading got you anywhere. You were taught to bow down and obey, to take whatever they gave you. Maybe that’s why he was they way he was, Frank thought.

“Tell me what’s going on,” Vaun said, still trying to break him and have him spill like he used to. To trust her. Frank can’t do that anymore, he can’t let anyone in. It only becomes trouble. She never done him wrong, but what if she did? There was always that _if_ in life and he can’t risk that.

“No.” The answer was simple. However, she didn’t settle for that. When they first met, Frank was severely depressed. Severely suicidal. She was trying to figure out what she could do for her to trust her, and for him to open up to her. It was hard, Frank knew, and there was always this shell that he had—a wall, he refused to let anyone in. And that’s how he was becoming, now.

“You’re going back to your old ways, Frank,” she accused, noting something down. “Don’t shut me out.”

“I can’t let you in,” he whispered, biting his knuckles to prevent himself from crying as he got to thinking about Master, the attack, and Gerard. He really did miss Gerard, but he was scared even if his hand was in Gerard’s. It soothed him, but only a little. “I can’t let anyone in.”

“Why is that?” Vaun asked, furrowing her brows and pointed her pen to her notes in case he said anything else that intrigued her. “You can trust me, you _know_ that. I _want_ to help you, Frank.”

“It’s not you. I can’t let _anyone_! Not Gerard or Jamia,” Frank said wretchedly, tears already starting to form into his eyes but he tried so hard to hold them back. He hated feeling weak, he hated all of it, especially in front of other people. It made him feel embarrassed and ashamed.

“Please, let me in.” She sighed and reached over to grab his hand to comfort him, sensing his distress and handed him a tissue box that had ribbons on it. “I want to help you, Frank.”

“I was attacked,” he whispered, the tears streaming down his face. The salty streams staining his cheeks and ruining the tissues he gathered in his hand, and he looked at Vaun. She ha a worried look upon her face, putting her notes down to sit beside Frank.

“What do you mean?” she asked. Frank told her all the details about everything that had happened—every little detail and explicit detail—and he had to stop every once in awhile because of how choked up he was getting when he mentioned Gerard. He told her about everything that had happened afterwords and how he was feeling so goddamn depressed, and the reason why he avoided all the visits. He told her how he met up with Gerard and noticed how distressed he was as well, but he didn’t forget to mention how fucking scared and sad he was. He told her about the police and how there might be hearings and trials that he wasn’t ready for. He had never done that in his life. It was another reason why he was glad that he escaped from the press.

“Oh...Frank.” Vaun seemed lost for words, and that was the first time, Frank thought. “Has...has Gerard tried contacting you since you met up?”

“Yeah,” Frank said.

“Have you?”

“No.”

“Do you want to?” she asked, getting back into her chair. “I know you said you missed him, and you know he misses you.”

“I do, but I’m scared,” Frank said, looking at the floor. “I _love_ him. I’m just scared.”

“Why are you scared?”

“I’m not scared that...that he’ll hurt me on purpose, I’m scared that if I let him in again, all that trust will be gone again. I can’t have that anymore,” Frank told her, and it was then when he started feeling tired, and wanting to go home again. He didn’t want to think about this anymore. “He really did break me in the worst ways possible.”

“You’re worried he’ll hurt you again?”

“Yes. He hurt me, Vaun,” he said, barely audible. “I know it wasn’t his fault because of our attackers being sick. But...I look at myself and I realize what he had done to me. I wasn’t ready for him to see me like that...I didn’t want him seeing how gross I am with all these scars Master left. He touched me, and I...I liked it. I didn’t want it!”

“I know, Frank,” she tried soothing.

“I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“How about this,” she started, “You go home, you shower, and you _think_ about whether or not you want to continue this relationship.”

Frank had walked home after his appointment nearly getting lost. He had passed his and Gerard’s favorite coffee house, and Gerard’s house. Frank so desperately wanting to go inside and talk to Gerard, but he was still too nervous to do it himself. Frank decided to just walk and think about all of this, to organize his thoughts that were too messy to gather up and fix, but he needed to. Frank kept thinking about on whether or not if it its even worth it if he continued all of this or not, to continue this relationship. Frank really did love Gerard, he had trusted Gerard with his life, but after the attack, the trust was broken but not the love. It hurt him so bad to be like this and see _Gerard_ like this. Frank had been here before, but has Gerard?

As he made his way to Jamia’s—finally—he walked inside. As soon as he walked inside, he noticed Gerard was sitting on the couch beside Jamia. There were tear stains on his cheeks and a cup of coffee that was still steaming in his hands. Once he closed the door that announced his presences, Gerard and Jamia both looked at him, and that was when Gerard’s crying had begun once again.


	12. I Wouldn't Leave You (If You Let Me)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was awkward for me to write bc i dunno how this actually works but please read the bottom note.

Frank was furious. Yes, they had met up not too long ago, but that used so much energy and time, and it was such a struggle to do so. Jamia understood that he was still getting used to Gerard’s presence once again, and it may take awhile considering they’re going back to how they were before all the dates and touching, and kissing. Hand holding? Sure, but nothing more than that. So, why would Gerard be here? Bawling his eyes out to Jamia?

 

“I don’t mean to sound _rude_ , but what is he doing here?” Frank asked. Frank kept staring at Gerard’s shaking figure that let out loud sobs that filled the room, and he was hidden behind his hair, hidden from Jamia and Frank. Frank noticed that Gerard hated to be or feel weak, especially in front of people that he cared about. Loved. If Gerard was supposed to be the _‘strong’_ one, then what was Frank? The weak and used up one? Was Gerard the one wearing pants in this relationship? Maybe from his height that people assumed that Frank was a bottom and that he was submissive to anyone—well, he sorta was, but that’s a different story—and that Gerard was always the one that fucked, not _got fucked_.

Maybe that’s why Gerard went after Frank and maybe that’s why he let it happen to him. Frank was weak, he bowed down to anyone, and if he was a “good boy”, he hoped for a comfort. Frank was nothing, honestly, and he never understood why anyone would want to be with him. Frank told Gerard about his past, and maybe those attackers were setups, and he really just wanted an excuse to touch Frank when he knew that he wasn’t going to any time soon. It all made sense just then, that Gerard wanted an excuse to see Frank in those intimate ways. Gerard never pitied him, always gave him reasons to trust him, and maybe that was a way he would eventually get to be able to take advantage of Frank, and have him end up crawling back to Gerard. Shit, that’s what Frank was doing now—he was weak for Gerard, now. No! He could not be doing this again—letting someone in to only take advantage. Fuck.

“Well?” Frank said when there was still silence, except for Gerard’s sobs. Frank rolled his eyes, he was tired and annoyed, and he wished Gerard wasn’t here. He also wished Jamia wasn’t here, either. Frank would wake up and hope that Jamia would be working that day rather than spend hours at home, bothering Frank’s time from himself. Frank tried explaining that to her, but she laughed and said he was always spending time with himself.

“I...I...w-we...” Gerard tried saying anything but that all came out was stutters and sobs. “I needed to talk to her.”

“About me, wasn’t it?” Frank spat, looking between the two. He knew that they were friends before he and Gerard ever got together, but it still hurt that they were talking behind his back. They were treating him like he wasn’t an actual person, but a TV show that they would gossip about, but then again, Jamia and Gerard were friends that talked about problems. Sometimes, Frank did that with his therapist and Jamia, but his thoughts kept consuming him and made him think of that bad in the world—that the world hated him and he was worthless.

“I needed _someone_ , Frank,” Gerard said, trying to control himself to not cry anymore, but it was getting hard, Frank could tell. “You won’t talk to me.”

“I need time!” Frank snapped, glaring at Gerard and his pathetic face. “Do you not realize what you did?”

“I thought we were trying to get over this.” Gerard looked at him sadly, betrayal on his face as Frank kept spewing words with venom, hurting him. “I thought we were going to try again,” he added, sadness leaked through those words, and, although it hurt Frank, he wasn’t going to apologize. It wasn’t his fault.

“Did you plan it?” Frank felt his heart beating through his chest as soon as the question was in the air. The room was quiet aside from his heavy breathing, and Frank couldn’t tell if Gerard was about to lie and say it wasn’t, but the look on Gerard’s face was hurt.

“Did you?” Frank pushed again, his voice shook that time, and he just wanted Gerard to answer the question. Honestly, Frank almost wanted Gerard to have planned it—it wouldn’t make him feel so horrible to hate Gerard if he did plan it.

“Why would you ask that?” Gerard asked wretchedly, his voice cracking as he was trying to hold back all the emotions he was feeling. “I love you. Why would I plan that?” Frank looked at him then lowered his eyes, clearly ashamed of what he let slip out of his mind.

Frank really shouldn’t have even asked that, but it had came out of his mouth, and by the looks of Jamia and Gerard, they were really upset with him. Even if Gerard hadn’t planned that, there was always the question on why hadn’t he fought back? Was Frank really not worth the fight? Was Gerard’s “love” a facade? Who knew, but what he did know is that _he_ just hurt Gerard.

Frank wasn’t a mean person, he really wasn’t, but in order to protect himself, he had built up a defense mechanism to prevent getting himself hurt anymore—when he was hurt, he aimed to hurt the person, and use things against them. It worked, most of the time, but it also got him in trouble and it got him hurt even more when the people would walk away, only driving him closer to suicide. It seemed like the more he thought about it, the more he wanted it to happen. What’s the worse that could happen? Nothing. It was a fifty-fifty. You live or you die.

“Frank, why would you ask me that?” Gerard asked, voice more stern. Frank shrugged and bit his lip, keeping his head down as he hid his face from Gerard. Frank didn’t want Gerard to see him, see him anymore as he was the weak one. The _girl_ in the relationship. The victim.

“Answer the question,” Jamia said, trying—and failing—to get Frank’s attention, as he stared at the floor, counting in his head as he ignored them. Counting helped make the tears go away, but so did running from the situation, and that’s exactly what he had done.

As he ran to his room and locking the door, he heard both Jamia and Gerard calling for him, but he ignored their calls. He needed to get his head straight before all those deadly thoughts came filing through his mind, but it was getting to that point where it didn’t matter if he did or didn’t kill himself—he wanted to, yes, but if he never got the chance to, then it was just going to be suffering through his thoughts even more.

He always thought he wouldn’t be strong enough to do something like that, but with each thought and each day, he was getting stronger and stronger. What if he _accidentally_ took too much of pills, would they know if it was or wasn’t an accident? Would it kill him like he hopes? What happens if he slices his own wrists? Would that kill him? What would leave him six feet in the ground? No one would truly miss him, honestly, and sure—they’d sob and grieve for a while, but they’d be fine in a month’s time.

Frank let out a shaky breath as he kept thinking about those thoughts. It didn’t scare him, or upset him, but the only thing that actually bothered him was the fact that he only had two people who actually cared about him, and he knew that if he was normal, that if he had known more people, then there were more people who missed him, which would make him feel guilty if he had done something—if he did die or try and commit suicide, but really, he only had two people. Frank tried imagining the funeral, what it would be like, but really he couldn’t see anything besides two people, and maybe his therapist. In shows that involved funerals, it mostly had tons of close family and friends, a priest, and a person lying in the coffin, of course. There wasn’t just _two_ _people_.

It made him start to wonder where his parents were. He never truly thought about it because he never really wanted to know or care, because who would leave their infant or child with a man they hardly knew? How did they know Master? Was Master their _drug dealer_? Frank shook his head. Master never sold drugs and he was never charged with possession of drugs, either. Frank read the report. So, how did they know him? Did their drug dealer know Master, and that’s how they got into this entire mess? Was Frank really not worth more than drugs? Their own flesh and blood threw him to the wolves, and it made him realize how shitty his life was.

The more he kept thinking of his parents, he just wanted answers towards everything about his life and parents. He wanted to meet them, yet he didn’t know their names. Could there be ways where he found their names? Surely, it wasn’t difficult, because Iero wasn’t a common name. How many Ieros could there be in Jersey? What if his parents were dead and there was no way to contact them, or meet them? What if they’re homeless?

Frank had taken drugs before—Master made him, and it wasn’t hard drugs, but it left him confused and scared. One of the drugs caused him to black out, and he didn’t remember the night before. Frank never really knew the names except for the very first drug he had tried—weed, Master called it. The others he never really knew the names and didn’t care to know. Master also showed him alcohol, and some of it caused him to black out too. Those drugs and drinks were to cause Frank to black out or “relax” instead of fighting Master off. Was this what his parents were doing? What kind of drugs were they taking?

The knocking on his door startled him out of his thoughts and, now that he was much calmer, he walked to the door to open it. Surprisingly, it was both Gerard and Jamia, and they both had worried looks on their faces as Frank let them into his room. He was sure to leave the door open in case he needed to run again when he felt too overwhelmed.

“Hey,” he muttered, sitting back down onto his bed as he looked at his hands. “I want to meet my parents, if they’re still alive.”

“Do...do you even know their first names?” Jamia said, sitting beside Frank, leaving Gerard standing.

“No,” Frank said, shaking his head. “But how many Ieros could there be?”

XXX

They spent almost an hour and a half searching and calling each Iero that was in the phone book—every female, every male, basically anyone with the Iero name. So far there was no luck, both Jamia and Frank had been using their phones, but leaving Gerard out of the loop because his phone was still broken. Frank felt like giving up because he knew that there was a chance he would never find his parents and have his questions answered. Frank sighed as he heard Jamia talked.

“Hello? Hi,” she greeted. “I’m looking to see if anyone knows a Frank Iero.” Jamia took the phone from her ear and put it on speaker phone for them all to hear.

It was a women, she was older, you could tell by how her voice sounded. _“Uh, I knew a Frank Iero,”_ she said. _“Why? Who’s asking?”_ The woman seemed defensive, almost, and Frank could relate.

“Uh, I’m trying to get in contact with the family about some personal matters,” Jamia said, her voice sounded sweet. She put on a girlier voice for when she talked on the phone and she hoped it would work to get information out.

The woman sighed, obviously annoyed. “Who do you need to talk to?” she asked. “Linda or her husbad Frank, Sr?”

Jamia looked over at both Frank and Gerard. “Is there no Frank Iero?”

“There is. Frank Sr and...their kid disappeared awhile back.” The woman sighed sadly now and when she spoke again, there was hurt in her voice. Frank wondered if that was his mom. But it didn’t make sense, disappeared? No...Master always said they forced Frank on him. “They haven’t seen him since he was a baby. Newborn, maybe.”

Jamia nodded. “May I speak with Frank Sr or Linda, please?”

“Sure thing,” the woman said. There was rustling over the phone and her yelling for the both of them. “One second,” she added, putting the phone down.

Frank could feel his heart beating so fast and he didn’t know what he felt. Hurt? Sad? Scared? Or all three? Frank’s thoughts ended as soon as there was a new voice on the phone. It was female. “Hello? Who is this?” she asked. Her voice was soft, but there was annoyance in her voice as the unknown caller was looking for her and her husband.

“Hi, I was calling in regards to Frank Iero, jr,” Jamia said, and all three hoped that is what would be correct. If she had said just Frank Iero, would she be confused by Frank Iero Sr? “I have information on your son,” she added so nothing would be confusing.

The woman let out a long sigh. “Who is this?” she asked again, her voice sounding sadder like the older woman’s. They all seemed saddened when he was mentioned. If he was kidnapped, why would Master want a baby? Why not wait until he grew up? Did someone else kidnap him, or maybe a bad drug deal? What if his parents were clean now, and never got him back? Maybe that’s why. Or he hoped.

“I’m Jamia Nestor and I’m standing with Frank Iero,” she said, sighing herself. “I have some regards. He wants to speak with his parents, biological parents, so we’re trying to get into contact with them. Are you Frank Iero’s parents?”

“It’s been twenty-three years. Why would anyone want us now?” she asked.

“If this is Linda, could we meet?” Jamia risked to ask.

There was silence for the longest time. Before the woman said, “Can I speak to him?”

Frank sighed and grabbed the phone, walking away from all of them to give himself some privacy. Frank closed his bedroom door and took the phone off of speaker, pressing it close to his ear. “Hello?” he said.

“You’re Frank?”

“Yes,” he said.

“And you would like to meet us?” she said.

Frank took a deep breath, thinking hard about this. Did he want to? “Yes,” he ended up saying. “Do...do you live here? In Jersey?”

The woman went silent for a while, probably thinking on whether she wanted to see Frank. It was hard to hear or tell her emotions through the phone and voice. “Yes, we do,” she said. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes.”

XXX

Frank couldn’t sleep the rest of the night after he told Jamia and Gerard what was going to happen. They both offered to take him and be there with him, but he couldn’t have that—this was for closure, or something of that sort, and ask questions on why they gave him to someone else. Why didn’t they try and look for him? Was he really that worthless that his own blood didn’t want him? Why didn’t his Mom try? He spent nine months in her womb to only be given away to someone so cruel? Didn’t they know the dangers? The risks of these mean men?

However, when it came to morning and the time he and his parents were supposed to meet up, he was so fucking nervous he almost wanted to cancel. But he _couldn’t_. He needed Gerard now, and he was gonna have Gerard go with him. There was no way in hell he was able to do this by himself. Frank remember Gerard didn’t have a phone so he decided to just walk to Gerard’s.

When he had walked to Gerard’s, he knocked loud and hard, and waited as he heard footsteps towards the door, and he had pushed his nervous thoughts down. Gerard opened the door, yawning as he looked at Frank, confused but happy.

“I need a favor,” Frank said quickly, not meeting Gerard’s eyes but his chest that was bare, and he accidentally looked down at his batman pajamas. Frank giggled at it but it wasn’t loud enough for Gerard to hear. “I need you to come with me.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i have a tumblr for frerard fics if you wanna help out??  
> http://frerardrecommendationlist.tumblr.com/


	13. We'll Be a Perfect Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaha, it's been quite sometime since i've updated this story. i honestly can say, that it's because i'm a lazy piece of shit who got distracted by other ideas; let's catch up a notch here - even if yall aren't going to read this - life is a living hell when it comes to updating work by yourself; with WD, i have someone (chemicalcandy) to help me through wanting to just close everything because, to me, it is overwhelming where the story is going to go. i've had this chapter on the back burner for at least...since july, tbh, but when i finally decided to try write again, i disliked where it was going. so i had to rewrite it.
> 
> that took another month or so, then i fell out of inspiration for it once again. also, life is hectic, especially when you're not getting comments from people saying how they want more - it makes me feel as if no one is reading this anymore, and it makes me not want to post anymore because what's the point of putting things up there if no one is going to read it? yeah it's fun to write, but it also makes me feel going to know if people are reading or not.
> 
> when i first started this story, i was so excited to do it, and then life came crashing down around me, making it hard to write stories with multiple chapters. i've been trying to write a book but life is so crazy that i can hardly do that too, and i've got tons of ideas for one-shots that my mind is going a mile a minute, and i keep getting frustrated with it all. with WD, i have chemicalcandy when she or i aren't busy but with the holidays, welllllllllll....yeah, life is hell during those times.
> 
> i've been trying to get everything up to day as much as possible especially since i'm going to college in like...two weeks. plus a week after that, i am going to disney world with my family, woo!   
> i had also gotten in contact with my biological father in october, so i sorta know how frank feels during this chapter - now - and it's a pretty good feeling, let me tell you that.
> 
> also, i should probably shut up and get to the actual posting of the story. shit, no ones gonna read this long as note either. deuces.

Frank’s heart was almost beating out of his chest as he had arrived to where he was supposed to meet his parents. Nothing could bring him down from his anxious words and thoughts; Gerard’s voice would whisper small encouragements but nothing helped, and it all seemed pointless if Frank couldn’t straighten himself up. There was always this underlying thought about how his parents could be working for other Masters or communicating with Master through prison. Maybe Frank had forced himself onto his parents when they hadn’t wanted him. There were all these questions that no one could answer which only made him even more anxious than before.

Frank just wanted to be _normal_. Frank wanted to be like the others where they had grown up right, where they had a family who loved him, and wasn’t suicidal because of his past. Frank just wanted more than two people to count on, and he wanted parental love. Master used to give him that kind of love until it all changed, and had given him Stockholm Syndrome. Now he’s a ball of insecurities, depression, and anxiety. Gerard had tried to change him, give him a taste of happiness and love, but had been forced to take that away which made their relationship rocky. God, Frank would give anything to be normal.

Frank and his parents were to meet somewhere small, somewhere open, and it ended up being a small coffee shop. It wasn’t the coffee shop where Gerard and Frank liked to go, but it was a small place that had obviously struggled with money to keep going. The coffee Gerard had ordered for him did nothing to calm his nerves, it only made it worse, and the hand-holding made no difference either. Nothing seemed to sooth his nerves or thoughts, or the anxiety attack that was brewing like the pot of coffee in the back of the shop.

It seemed like it was forever until the bell above the door rang to announce more people had walked through. Frank dared to look up at the couple in front of him. It was only the four of them in there so he knew who it was, especially how there was features from the woman. That was his mom, and the man beside him was his dad. Realizing all of this did nothing to relieve his thoughts or questions because there were so many things he wanted to ask but he couldn’t find the right words to spill before them.

The couple took a seat in front of him, looking at him the same way Frank was looking at them; disbelief. “Hi,” the woman—his _mom_ —said. His mom had let out a nervous giggle as she looked at Frank and Frank looked back at her.

“H-hi,” he stuttered out, just wanting to say more than that one chopped out word. What was he supposed to say? ‘ _oh hey, yeah I was wondering why did you leave me with Master?’_ no he couldn’t just drop that bomb just yet. “H-how are...are you?” he asked both his parents.

“We’re good,” his mom said, folding her hands together and looked down. “You?” All Frank could do is nod as he was getting his thoughts straight enough to ask questions that might ruin this get-together, but his mom spoke again.

“I don’t...I don’t know if-if you want to see us again or if you feel comfortable calling us Mom and Dad, but I’m Linda,” she started out, sighing as all these words seemed to pain her. “And this is Frank, too.” His mom huffed out a laugh as she pointed to his dad.

“Hi,” he said again, feeling a little bit comfortable. “Um, this is Gerard,” Frank said, pointing towards Gerard who sat close to him.

The conversation seemed to have gone quiet as they finished saying their greetings, but Frank decided to blurt the question that was burning. “Why did you leave me with Master?”

“Master?—oh! Well, a lot had happened after you were born,” his mom started, thinking back to the horrible memory of what had happened to her son. “A lot happened, Frank, and we apologize for all of this.”

“We were a young couple,” she started out, sighing sadly. “Your father and I hadn’t made many smart choices, and we decided to chose drugs over you. Our dealer had given us an amount of time until we had to pay him back, but of course with a child that amount of money and time can never be fulfilled. Being young and on drugs, and having a child is...tough, I will admit, but it’s also a mistake when you chose poison over your own child.” His mom had gotten sadder but his dad had stayed quiet, although emotion was clearly there, plastered on his face.

“We are truly sorry for that,” Frank Sr. said after awhile.

“Why didn’t you come back for me?” Frank asked, looking down at the dirty ground of the coffee shop. Emotion was getting to him as all his suspicions were correct—his parents gave him up for drugs. Were drugs more important than him? Was he that worthless? “After you got clean, why didn’t you come for me?”

“Well, it took awhile for us to get clean and settled back. Your ‘Master’, whose name was named Travis, but he wasn’t the one who sold the drugs. He had a man who went after them, then the money was sent out. Travis was the big boss—he was the one who took care of the money and business but sent out others to do the dirty work.” Frank’s mom choked back a sob and controlled her emotions before continuing, “After awhile we had the money but it was too late. He took you. Travis said the only way to get you was to earn the money that had piled up as we were getting clean. However, we tried and tried to get you back, Frank.” Frank’s mom dared to take his hand, rubbing her soft fingers on the back of his hand. “Finally, we went to get you back, but...he said—” Frank’s mom let out a sob. “He said you had died.”

“How...how old was I?”

“You were only a few weeks old,” Frank Sr said. “You were so young. I had no idea what Travis did besides sell drugs—I only know because on the news it said that they had busted a sex-ring but...your name never came up, so we figured you were dead and...and weren’t apart of that business.”

“I escaped before it was busted,” Frank said, looking them both in the eyes. “I was apart of it, unfortunately.”

“So...Travis had, um...” Frank’s dad trailed off, looking pained and realized his son could have been sold and raped.

Frank nodded. “I’m so sorry, Frank,” his mom sobbed, hiding her face with her hands and tried to keep her cries silently.

“It’s not...it’s not your fault,” Frank muttered, seeking Gerard’s hand with his free one.

“But it is, Frank, we – we chose drugs over you rather than taking care of you. Because of our decision, you had gotten hurt, for...for many years.”

“Is...is Gerard your boyfriend?” Frank Sr asked – changing the conversation – hesitantly as they looked at each other.

“Yeah.”

XXX

The entire meeting was about Master—Travis—and tears, and stories of what they had been doing before they met. Apparently, Frank’s father worked at a factory and his mother worked at a call tech center, and they lived with their best friend, Angie. Angie knew their past and about Frank, and they all met at a recovering addict meeting. They all helped each other get sober and through the rough times where Linda would break down at the sadness of missing Frank. Linda knew better to go back to drugs, and not once had she relapsed.

Frank told him about how he had moved in with his best friend and how he met Gerard. He wanted to leave out the hard details but with some things, he had to release the information. He mentioned that life wasn’t that bad when him and Master first started out.

“Life wasn’t always bad,” Frank said, half-smiling as he looked at his mom and dad. “When I was younger, he treated me okay.”

“How could you say that? You know, we heard what happened to those poor souls, Frank,” Linda said, her voice quiet and concerned with the things he had spoke – she was worried what else would fall from her son’s mouth. She didn’t want to hear how he was hurt in physical or mental, or...or any way. She looked at his tired eyes...his hurt eyes. She didn’t want to keep thinking about this, but she knew deep down inside of herself how Travis – Frank’s master – had hurt him; beatings. “Frank...he hurt those people.”

“Yeah,” he said, starting and swallowing as he began to tell stories about his Master. He didn’t feel like saying his name… it felt as if it was too much. “But, I mean, he-he was...okay. It just got bad as I got older. He wasn’t bad to younger slaves; just the older ones.”

“Why did he keep _children_? Did...did he do anything to them?”

“No, not that I’m aware of,” Frank said, looking down at his lap and sighed. He wasn’t exactly glad he had gone through all of this shit, but he knew this is what made him the person that he is, whether that’s fucked up and broken, or trying to be anything but a victim that he was. “I-I know there’s other...other owners who did – ”

“No, Frank,” his dad butted in, his stern voice made him shut up immediately. The tone that he used was enough to make him not want to talk the rest of the night, but he didn’t want to bow down. He could at least drop the topic but he didn’t want to. He wanted them to listen to him – to let them know who he was and what he was sensitive about, and what to not bring up. What if they brought up something he was sensitive about, and it made him have a complete breakdown? The event that happened between him and Gerard was enough for him to bring those walls back together, but they weren’t strong enough to be there. Gerard was his security blanket, and although Jamia was too, he couldn’t push him away again.

“But I –” Frank tried, scowling and grunted. “There were other owners who abused children. Master took those children in. I don’t think he was attracted to children, just...teenagers and above, I guess. Thirteen to seventeen, maybe eighteen. I got too old for him so he wanted to kill me, and that’s the night I escaped. It’s been three years. I’m seeing a therapist.”

“Why are you telling us this?”

“I want you to understand that I don’t want pity – I want to be normal. I want you to know there’s somethings that I’m sensitive about and if you have questions, ask me, so don’t assume.” Frank ran his fingers through his hair, looking at his mom whose eyes were wet with tears. “People ask questions. My friend Jamia did...”

“We don’t want to know what that man did to our son,” Linda said, tears now falling freely down her cheeks. “It-it’s _hard_ to hear about this because it is _our_ fault. _We_ got into drugs, which had resulted _you_ into being with _him_.”

“I-I know, but I need you to...to realize who I am, and...and – ”

“Frank, stop,” Gerard said, grabbing Frank’s hand to try to calm him down and get his attention. Frank looked at him and there was pain in his eyes; he didn’t know why Frank wanted to share his story because it was all obvious that he was in pain – that he was re-living that awful time he was pushed to be in. “Frank, you’re not only hurting them, you’re hurting yourself – _please_ , stop.”

“Honey, you’re not who you are because of the situation you were forced into,” Linda said, desperately wanting to hold her child against her chest, but not knowing if that was welcome, especially since he didn’t know them anymore. “You are not who that man tried to make you be. You are your _own_ self.”

Frank’s dad was silent most of the time except for occasional but-ins, and he just stared at both Gerard and Frank. It seemed as if he didn’t know what to do with the situation, and Frank could tell that he was hiding his emotions, because Frank did that too – he didn’t like feeling weak when he cried, because it only made him angrier. It didn’t matter what emotion it was because he would cry, only making it worse. He bottled it up like his father, from what he could tell.

“You’re quiet,” Frank said to his dad, looking directly at the man, who also stared down at him. His father was taller than his mother, his father seemed to look more stern, as for his mother she had a softer face, and she was short – which is probably where Frank had gotten it from. “Why?”

“I-I don’t...I don’t mean to be,” Frank Sr. said, seemed to be out of words. “It’s a surreal moment, son.”

“I know.”

xxx

The day had gone by super fast as they talked for hours until they were kicked out of the coffee shop; Frank felt greedy with it, he didn’t want to leave his parents at all. Frank and his parents said their goodbyes before Gerard and Frank decided to go home. Frank looked at Gerard and said, “Can...can you sleep at my house? Tonight?”

“Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment pls. im a comment slut. i love them as much as gerard loves his jackets.
> 
> P.S.  
> RAY TORO TWEETED ME, FUCKERS.  
> ALL I NEED IS MIKEY NOW TO TWEET ME. FUCK YES.


End file.
